It’s funny because when my husband woke up this morning, he leaned over and tried to talk to me with the most awful morning breath ever.
Him: “Babe, let’s have our catch me up chat?”
Me: “Ummm, it’s 6:07 AM. How exactly will we chat about how our day has gone when we’ve literally only had our eyes open for 90 seconds?”
Him: (laughing) “True.”
Me: (exit bed and walk towards the bathroom as I loudly say) “Let’s try toothpaste and mouth wash and then we can chat about anything you want babe. Mmmm, kay?”
I tell that story not because I want you to know my husband had bad morning breath today. Heck, my breath is way worse than his in the mornings so no judging there.
It just made me laugh that he woke up and the first thing that came to his mind was “let’s chat”. Because those little things…like making the effort to chat each day…are what can make your marriage MORE.
Our Life Before
One year ago, he would have woke up, snuck off to the shower and got ready for work without hardly saying 3 words to me. Likewise for me.
We had the excuse that we were tired or cranky or “not a morning person”. And while all of those things are still 100% true (good Lord I am cranky in the mornings) it didn’t mean it had to effect our marriage.
Sure, being cranky is hard to overcome, but it’s a mindset.
If you are not a morning person (like me) then you have to be intentional about being nice. Intentional about not giving death stares to the alarm clock. Intentional about saying “good morning”. Intentional about loving your spouse and family before coffee.
As we pass the half way point of our 22 day #lovehabits challenge we just want to remind you to be intentional. It’s easy to just go to bed without kissing or hugging or talking to each other. It’s easy because you don’t have to DO anything.
Practicing The Love Habits isn’t hard, but it’s work.
Trust me, I get it. You’re tired and you’ve had a long day. Your kids drove you crazy, your work under-appreciates you, your friends were too busy to respond to your calls, you cooked dinner and cleaned dishes and did baths and bedtime and so much more.
All you want to do is lay your head on your pillow and RELAX. The last thing you want to think about is more work.
How do I know? I know because this JUST happened to me a few nights ago.
One of “Those” Days
I was stressed out and I’m not even sure why. It was just one of those days where my patience was non existent, I felt overwhelmed with to-do’s, I overreacted when my kids did minor things, I snapped at my husband, and I certainly did not do a good job of completing The Love Habits. This was day 11 to be exact.
For a moment, I felt like throwing my hands up and quitting. I wanted to run to my bedroom and hide.
But, instead? I took a moment to calm down and pray and I came across this picture…
This was taken at our Happy Mommy Box anniversary event few weeks ago. Those are my hands. Raised up in worship.
I quickly remembered that there’s no giving up. No running to hide. No ignoring my husband (who graciously tried to ask me what was bothering me and I yelled at him).
I am worth it. You are worth it.
It’s ok to have a bad day every once in awhile. It’s ok to raise your voice when you know it’s not warranted. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. It’s ok to fail some days.
Because God offers up His grace for all of that. He reminds us that “You are worth it.” He whispers in our ears… “Tomorrow is new.”
So instead of going to bed angry and bitter that I had completely let the day-to-day things of this world effect my mood and ability to love my husband and children…I went to bed thankful.
I forgave myself for my poor attitude. Why? Because He’s already forgiven me first.
Remember that. If your down on yourself, feeling overwhelmed, failing at The Love Habits or simply having a sucky day.
It’s ok. There’s grace.
Pick yourself back up tomorrow and BE INTENTIONAL.
Because this work? This is work that is worth it.
It’s work that will help you stay connected to your spouse. It’s work that will keep you close to the one person in your life who can make all those daily tasks disappear with the embrace of one long hug.
How are The Love Habits working for you? Do you feel closer or more connected to each other? We’d love to hear!
Don’t forget to share your progress on social media, tag us @marriagemore and use the hashtag #lovehabits so we can follow along!
If you don’t have your FREE Love Habits worksheet… grab it HERE!