Me: “Hey, Babe. You’re looking really hot today….”
Her: <unphased> “You just want to get some.”
Me: <bowing my head and thinking to myself> “Dang, how does she know me so well?”
Talking About the “S” Word
As a Christian, it’s sometimes feels dirty to use the “S” word, especially in a public setting such as blog. But let’s just go ahead and get it out of the way:
Okay, now that we’ve addressed the elephant in the room…
Married couples should be having sex. It’s good to have sex. It’s a good thing to want to have sex. It’s a good thing to ask your spouse to have sex with you. Remember: Jesus knows that we are sinful people and that we need a wife or husband to have sex with.
1 Corinthians 7:2 (ESV)
2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
It’s when you don’t want to have sex is with your spouse is when trouble can start to creep in.
We Fight About Sex
When I reflect back on our 10 years of marriage and think of the two things we’ve fought about the most they would be money and sex.
blessed cursed me with a sex drive that could power a small town while my wife just doesn’t need it as much. #bummer
Things finally came to a head while we were on a family vacation and “the urge” came over me. My usual prince charming moves didn’t work and I was left frustrated and downright angry. What followed was a nasty fight that carried over until we got home.
In short, my attitude sucked. #bigtime
We eventually worked it out and now have a better understanding of our needs.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Desire Your Spouse
Even though we’ve fought about sex we’re still thankful that after 10 years, 3 boys, and 1,000 of toilet seats left up, we still want to have sex with each other.
We both know that if we don’t try and put an effort into having intimacy in our marriage, that our marriage will crumble.
When I hear about spouses that go weeks or months without having sex, I cringe for them because temptation will eventually creep in.
Even the bible says that you shouldn’t deprive one another from sex unless it’s agreed upon for a limited time and your doing so to devote yourself to prayer.
1 Corinthians 7:5
5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Make Love, You Deserve It
You married your spouse because in some capacity you loved them. You made have grown apart through the years and that’s okay. Find a way to connect. Practice The Love Habits and let the intimacy come back into your marriage.