Maybe it’s the fact that I am about to turn 35 (crap!) or maybe it’s just God growing me in areas that I didn’t even ask for help in… but lately? I have felt a strong nudge to stop trying to be everything to everyone.
Yes, I am tired of trying to please the world only so that I can be stressed, crazy and ready to cry at any moment.
It’s exhausting. And counter productive.
This might not sound like a big deal to any of you so forgive me if you didn’t just have a “my mind is blown” moment and realize that you might be trying to hard too.
But for real, I am finding happiness in things that I never found happiness before.
I am saying no to things that I would never say no to before.
I am making my children a priority more than I ever have before.
I am investing in friendships like I never have before. Real life friendships, not just ones you can have online (even those are lovely too).
I am truly living instead of just being alive.
I wake up and instead of wondering what my to-do list looks like and how I will ever accomplish it all, I am more concerned about what time I get to pick my kids up from school so we can spend time together.
Because you guys… spending time with them is something I won’t always have the chance to do!
If you have always put your to-do list below your kids then you will think I am quite silly for even writing about this. But for those of you out there who are like me and feel like EVERYTHING you have to do for the day has to get done RIGHT NOW then I welcome you to start truly giving up the to-do’s and focusing on the moments.
These moments are ones that you can not get back.
I know you have heard that nine thousand times, but it’s real. It’s true.
When you have babies and your kids are little bitty all you want is a break, a moment without them, a vacation alone because you are constantly being NEEDED by someone.
But when they grow just a teeny bit, they start needing you less and less and, well, less.
Eventually by eight… they become independent little people who might not choose to sit on the couch and watch an episode of Paw Patrol with you while they lay their head on your chest.
It’s not sad, it’s life.
What’s sad is that we spend the first 7 years wondering how we can be needed less and less and then we spend the next 7 years wishing we would be needed more and more.
Frankly, I am not willing to bet what the next 7 years after that look, but I AM willing to bet that many mothers look back and wish they would have cherished more moments.
You know what I won’t wish when my kids are grown and I am reflecting on their childhood?
I won’t wish that I could have gone to one more blog conference. I won’t wish that I could have let me kids play one more sport and have practice every night of the week. I won’t wish that I could have wasted one more evening picking up toys. I won’t wish that I could have said “wait just a second honey while mommy finishes (fill in the blank)” one more time.
What I will wish?
I will wish that we had one more family dinner together. I will wish that we would have taken one more family vacation – that month long one to Australia that we have always wanted to take. I will wish that I would have stopped worrying about laundry and the house being tidy. I will wish that I would have said “no” if it meant it will take me away from my kids.
I will wish that my focus was more on being present instead of trying to be pleasing.
I will wish that I wouldn’t have tried so hard to be everything to everyone.
There is only one person I need to please in this life and that is God. Beyond that, I don’t need to say “yes” just to please people.
And I think God is pretty darn happy that being PRESENT is a priority for me over being pleasing.
My goal is to be everything to ONE – not to everyone.
Evaluate your life and your priorities… who are you trying to please?