I didn’t have a 35 week picture taken today, but my mom took this picture on Sunday (so it will have to work). And hopefully not much has changed, size wise, in 4 days.
Plus, Iam wearing the same scarf again today. I imagine the picture would have looked similar. Yes, my wardrobe is limited so this scarf gets A LOT of wear. 
It’s about to get too warm for scarves. Darn the luck because I have probably been wearing a scarf everyday for the last 3 months. It helps hide the belly. Sorta. Well, in my crazy pregnant mind it does.
But, really, look how much bigger that belly looks without the scarf to distract your attention?
See. You would wear a scarf too if you were me. Too bad they don’t have something that makes your cheeks look LESS puffy. I’d be ALL over that if they did.
I was suppose to have my first “cevical check” this week, but because my appointments all got pushed back by a week (because I was gone for my Gma’s funeral), I won’t have it until next Wednesday.
I debated whether or not I shall share this story with you, but then I quickly remembered how funny it was looking back.
So. I have decided that I shall spill.
Please do not judge me for this.
I decided on Tuesday night that, since I was really curious whether I was dilated yet or not, I was going to attempt to give MYSELF a cervical check.
Yes, you read that correctly. I decided that I was going to insert my hand “up there’ and see if I could determine if there was any progress. I know. Dramatic. And totally not necessary.
I must have been bored.
I am totally not a doctor. But, at the time, it seemed like a good idea.
After googling “giving yourself a cervical check” I landed HERE.
A four step process that seemed, according to the article, VERY easy. So, I told my husband I was going to “wash my face” and I quickly locked myself in the master bathroom.
I followed the instructions. I will spare you the details, but in case you are wondering, it did involve a laundry hamper (to prop one leg on) and some Astroglide.
Even after reading the explanation of what I was suppose to be feeling for, I am not sure I know that I did it right. I think I felt my cervix and I think I could at least get a fingertip in, but honestly, who knows…it could have TOTALLY not been my cervix. It’s complex up in there.
About mid-way through I thought “what the h*** am I doing?”
So, it was over as fast as it began. Plus, I didn’t want anyone my husband knocking on the door and finding me with the laundry hamper and Astroglide sitting on the toilet. EMBARRASSING!
He still doesn’t know this story. I’m sure he will think I am crazy once he reads this.
And let’s just say…I’ll start leaving the medical stuff…up to my OB.
OMG OMG OMG I am dying! you did it yourself!? LOL ha-larious!!!!! OH BTW you are looking great! Honestly! At 35 weeks I was as big as the house, and it was belly, face, legs, arms, toes, I swear I was a hot mess!
HAHAHA thank you for making me laugh out loud in my office [really your blog makes me LOL in my office on a daily basis!] you are too funny.
and if you find something that hides your chest [well minus an over sized sweatshirt] please let me know! I would love for the girls to be hidden every once and a great while 🙂
AHAAA. This is so hilarious, thank you for sharing!
You look great! And that is the funniest thing about the self-exam. I’m not going to lie…the thought has crossed my mind but I’m too chicken to try it myself 🙂
Girl, I think you look awesome! Thisis your 3rd baby 🙂 You look great!!
You are too funny, I definitly just laughed about that story, how funny!
Bahahahahahaa! That reminds me of when I may or may not have done a similar thing when I convinced myself that my IUD had come out and that I was preggo. I can WHOLE HEARTEDLY agree that stuff is best left to the professionals!
You look great! I refused to take ANY pics after 30 weeks with either of my girls because my nose/face were so swollen & HUGE!
So, I had to comment and tell you that when I started working in labor and delivery 10 years ago (!) the seasoned nursed would say to check out myself to get to know what an undilated, non-pregnant cervix felt like. After several years passed, and I got pregnant, I would check myself too, especially after going to the doc and getting their report. Then I would know what it was and could tell if it was moving along between appointments. If you thought you felt it, then you did. Really only one spot to land there 🙂
hahah…hilarious !!!!
LOL. I love your story.
I’m so happy you shared. HYSTERICAL. 😀
So last night you specifically said “don’t tell anybody that story!” and then today you blog about it!! LOL!! The blog version was even better than the version you told us last night!! I was seriously CRACKING up the whole time I as reading it!! You are hilarious!! And I agree with everyone else…you are looking gorgeous & I haven’t noticed any puffy cheeks at all!!
Funny story, I am soooooo proud. Don’t ever tell me about TMI again! Now that you have set the standard … (so low )… I may have to reconsider some funny stories I have been withholding.
Okay so not only is this story awesome and hilarious, what makes it even better is your sweet Dad’s comment at the end. I am a little worried about the stories he is feeling he can share with you now 🙂 – I am thinking you will have another whole blog post for those! And p.s. you look TOTALLY awesome. When it’s too hot for the scarf, just do some fun necklaces (not that you even need them!!!!). TGIF 🙂
Oh wow LOL!! That is hysterical!! Thanks for sharing!!
You look great for 35 weeks, I am pretty sure I have ya beat and I am only at 30 weeks!!
Of wow that is so funny! I could totally see myself doing that. Also you look great!
Girl you are looking so good! 🙂
haha! you are a brave girl, but I can definitely see being curious!!
You look great!
OMG! That was literally one of the funniest posts i may have ever read! I am speechless. Def didn’t know those details! Lol! What in the world did J say after you did that?? Good grief.
I just found your blog via Twitter, and this post is cracking me up. First, I never would have thought to Google or do that myself, but? Now that I know one can attempt this, I’m sure I won’t be able to forget it in a few weeks when I’m desperate to get this baby out too!
I love your blog colors and header and everything, and you have a beautiful family!
hahahaha i had to see what y’all were talking about with this post last night! I love the fact that nothing is off limits on your blog.