When I got pregnant, everyone and their brother gave me advice about what I should and should not do with a baby in my belly.
“No caffeine.”
“Don’t eat lunch meat.”
“Limit your workout routine.”
Then when I had a newborn, I was given opinion after opinion on how to handle diapers and nap time and breastfeeding. I was told to never let a child “cry it out” and that my boobs would essentially “never be the same”.
I call it…”Welcome to Motherhood: Where Everyone You Know is Now A Baby Expert.” <— an entire post dedicated to the highly opinionated parenting expert. Thank me later.
Then, a few years ago I sent my (now) seven year old off to the big K. Yes, Kindergarten.
I thought I was prepared. I mean, if I can bring a newborn child home from the hospital with no previous training and not only keep it alive, but manage to groom myself and not kill my husband from lack of sleep? Then I should be able to handle my kid entering Kindergarten.
But I quickly learned that not even my Type A personality was ready for what came with “school age” kids.
And the weird thing was? No one even warned me.
Apparently people are too focused on new moms with tiny infants that they forget parents with 5 year olds still need some direction.
Because, as much as I hated those highly opinionated parenting experts back in the day? At least they prepared me for things like poopy diaper explosions and pacifier withdraw.
Now that my middle son is about to register for Kindergarten I thought I’d be “that parent”. The one who offers her unsolicited advice on you just in case you think you know everything.
Because I promise you, you have no clue what you are about to embark on.
5 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My Child Started Kindergarten
1. The Conversations Become More Interesting
We woke up this morning and I told Bents it was a BIG day for him…KINDERGARTEN registration!
Me: Mommy is sad that you are getting so big.
Him: You always say stuff like that mom. Can’t you just be quiet for once.
Me: Buddy, I’m sad because I love you little.
Him: Yea, I know. And you’re still going to love me when I’m big so I don’t see why you’re so emotional.
If you think hearing your kid use big words like “emotional” before they even enter the big double doors of the school building is fun…just wait until they’ve been in class for 5 days with twenty other five year olds who’s parents failed to tell them not to say things like “sexy” and “penis” at school.
Your mind is about to be blown by their new found vocabulary. You will think you’ve failed as a mother when you get a call from the teacher saying that your son was twerking in class, but I promise you this…
You can do your best to shield your children from inappropriate things all day long, but unfortunately there’s no universal parenting code that requires all parents to do the same. And sometimes you kid’s classmates have older siblings…and the things they learn from those older siblings are now things that they will teach your baby.
I say this because when my oldest entered Kindergarten, he was the one being taught language and words that made my ears hurt. But now that it’s my middle son’s turn? He might be the one teaching your kid some inappropriate things. And for that. I am sorry. #bigbrothersarethedevil
2. There’s A Party For Every Occasion
If you signed up to be room mom, you might want to ask off work for at least 20 vacation days.
I’m exaggerating, but still, count the holidays and then add a few. That’s about how many parties will take place in your child’s classroom. I guess I just wasn’t prepared for all the partying.
At the time, I had a corporate job and didn’t have a gazillion vacation days. In fact, I had zero to be able to dedicate to school parties.
You will feel guilty when you don’t show up and other kid’s moms do. Especially when your son comes home and says, “Johnny’s mommy was there, why weren’t you?”
Don’t value your motherly worth on this one thing.
3. There Is A Fine Line Between Being “That Parent” And Being An Ally For Your Kid
The hardest part about Kindergarten was not wanting to be “that parent”.
You know “that parent”, right?
In one breath, you just sent your baby off to school where they know no one. They’ve been thrown in a class with a group of kids they’ve never met, a teacher they’ve never seen, not to mention, they now have to maneuver a building they’ve never been in.
In another breath, they need to learn to accept change, meet new friends and have somewhat of a sense of independence.
You do not need to call the school daily to make sure that little Johnny doesn’t have a tummy ache after he ate the lunch you packed him. Nor do you need to email the teacher five times a day to “check in” and “make sure everything is going ok”.
If there’s a problem, they’ll call you.
I’m not saying you can’t check on your child. Just don’t do it so often that you become “that parent”. You’ll risk the chance that your child will be the teachers least favorite kid because his overbearing mother won’t stop with the demands, requests, emails and phone calls.
4. The Handouts are Endless…Read Them All
Your kid is going to come home from school each day with a million and eighty seven papers.
Notes, drawings, school assignments, sport sign-ups, newsletters, menus, school announcements…
The list is endless.
Read them. All.
I failed to do this when my son entered Kindergarten and then I wondered why the heck I was lost all the time.
“Oh, I didn’t realize they had to be signed up for soccer by February 21.”
“Wait, there was a spring sing?”
“We were supposed to be bringing in class snacks once a month?”
I’m telling you folks, teachers don’t write newsletters to waste your time. They write them to HELP you. Don’t trash the papers before thoroughly reading through them and marking things in your calendar.
5. If You’ve Been Wiping Your Child’s Butt For Five Years, Stop.
Maybe I’m preaching to myself on this one, but ESPECIALLY with my first born, I was wiping his butt until…well, heck. He’s 7 and still occasionally requests for me to do it. #idont
Teachers are really great at a lot of things, but I’m pretty certain that they don’t want to have to wipe 20 butts every single day. Your kid needs to know how to wipe their own butt.
It will also decrease a lot of stress for them if they know how to do things like this on their own.
I remember that my oldest NEVER pooped at school. He would always hold it until his tummy hurt because he didn’t want to have to ask for help wiping.
Luckily, the middle child has been wiping in his own booty since he was potty trained. The kid is independent.
I realize not all kids are so I’m warning you now, teach them to wipe.
Off to Kindergarten registration we go. At least I’m more prepared this year than last time.
Now excuse me while I go shed a few silent tears. I wouldn’t want to be put in my place by the five year old again. Don’t tell him I’m sad.
YES! This list is spot on – my oldest is finishing up her kindergarten year now and ohhhh how I wish I’d read this 8 months ago! Especially before I signed up to be room parent, ha 😉 And #5 rings true here as well!
All so very true! My son is only 3, but before having him I taught Kindergarten, so I have a little bit of perspective about it from the other end. I can’t tell you how great your advice in #3, 4 and 5 are!!
I LOVE THIS! I don’t have kids of my own…. But as a kindergarten teacher every word of this is TRUE! Especially the butt wiping. I always tell parents that they don’t want their kid to be the one waking out of the bathroom into the classroom with their pants around their ankles. They laugh but have no idea how true it is. Every year without fail.
Thank you for this! We are doing pre-school registration soon and I’ve started to freak out about some of these things with my son going a couple days a week!
Thanks for sharing! My oldest starts in 1.5 years which is coming up fast! ????????
I love this! As a kindergarten teacher, I have to say that I wish more parents thought like this!!! As a mom of four, with my second one headed to kindergarten in the fall, I can empathize with how difficult it is to send a baby off to school! Good luck with everything. 🙂
One more I would add is to make sure their vaccinations are all up to date. At my kids’ school they will not tell you what teacher your kid has until you’ve shown proof of being up to date on their immunizations.
I love your blog! This post couldn’t have come at a better time,I just made the call to the school to register my oldest for pre k. I’m so nervous, I’ve stayed home with her since day 1, only her grandma, aunt, and great grandma have ever watched her, so I’m nervous about strangers being in charge of her. Thank you for this!
Oh this is all so true and they need to know things I never thought about. Like coins! My oldest only knew a quarter because it meant a bouncy ball at the store. HA!
Loved this lol as a past teacher and now a parent of five kiddos I totally agree with everything you wrote. And amen to not feeling guilty about not making every single party…I mean really is Dr. Seuss day that vital?!
Yes, just yes. My son is in Kindergarten this year and I am still astounded by all the papers, parties, and hand outs. I’m doing my best to stay on top of it. NO ONE TOLD ME either lol.
Great post!! I’ve ever even thought about what will happen when my daughter goes to kindergarten. I feel waaaay more prepared now 🙂 Thanks for sharing!!
Good advice for Moms with kids starting kindergarten. Before your kids go through those big double doors where they know no one, be sure they learn how to tap into their Internal Guidance System on a basic level.
When we teach our kids about their IGS from a very early age they are more able to be empathetic to other kids and also to be independent. So while it won’t stop all the twerking and new vocabulary, it will help give you tools to handle some of the big issues–without stressing them out about having to learn something else new.
Hahaha #5! But so true! I remember panicking right before my daughter started kindergarten b/c it occurred to me that the teacher probably wasn’t going to wipe her @ss for her. Intensive training ensued immediately! LOL!
Thank you for this! My son will start kindergarten this fall and this is truly helpful.
3.5 more months and my “baby” will be starting the big K. I couldnt click on this article fast enough. You had me LOLing. Even in preschool the amount of parties are insane. 2nd Tuesday of a full moon on mars party…Really? AND I have to bring food? Ugh!
Haha! For real! I feel ya!
THANK YOU! My son starts K in a week and this will help me to do some last minute prep and pep talks with him 🙂
I am a kindergarten teacher! Everything you say is true. One more thing your kids should know before they go to kindergarten is to be able to manipulate the clothes they wear! If they can’t button their pants, put them in something they can button. If they can’t tie their shoes, get them shoes that they can fasten. It really helps everyone. Sounds like you’re doing a great job!
Wow, as a first-grade teacher and mom of three, I am surprised about the number of parties you mentioned. We do only three parties per year: a Halloween party, Christmas party, and Valentine’s Day party. That’s it. That doesn’t mean that we don’t have fun in class, but…a party for every holiday?! What a stress!
I want to second the comment about making sure that kids can manipulate the clothes they come to school in – being able to button up their own pants, zip up their own jacket, tie their own shoes, etc. is SO IMPORTANT!
I would also like to add: teach your child good listening, focusing, and work skills at home. If your child is never expected to improve these skills at home, he/she will not be able to suddenly “flip a switch” and turn on these important skills as he/she enters Kindergarten! The kids who struggle the most (by far!) in school are those who are not used to listening or following-through on completing tasks. Give your child responsibility and have high expectations with regards to chore completion and follow-through on other tasks.
Listening and following directions skills are important throughout life. I taught university courses a couple of years ago and the students who did the best followed directions. I was amazed at how many students lost points on assignments and tests because they failed at this simple task.
Love it! I’ll be looking out for more of you articles!
Thank you my little one goes next year and #5 is on our list. I have been telling her she needs to wipe or she can’t go to school, now she don’t want to go because she don’t want to do it. Lol
I have to laugh, I love the point about the handouts. It was so hard getting used to all the constant paperwork… even the 80 handouts about the same event! I finally established a rythm… but I would like to add –“don’t save every assignment sent home for keepsakes.” Throw some away cause it’s too much! Also.. the many many fundraisers… you just can’t do them all!
Omg! You were very helpful THANK YOU!
My daughter started pre-k this year (kindergarten is next year). It never even occurred to me that wiping her butt for 4 years was a bad idea until 2 weeks before she started and I realized that there is no way her teacher is going to wipe 18 butts multiple times a day. I’m glad I read these other ones too, as we have a big move coming up and she will be starting kindergarten in a new country with no friends.
Thank You! My little one is heading off this next school year and I definitely needed to read the “that mom” lol. I can tend to be “that mom” when shes away and I can definitely relate to the big words that are already being used. Thats when we hold that little tear that wants to jump out. Thank you for this,. cheers!
Amazing article. Great tips to release my little eaglet next year as she turns 5.
As an early childhood educator, I wish I could share this with every parent I know! (or at least post it to Facebook) You are spot on!
Wow this is such an amazing arcticle!!! Loved every bit of it! Spot on! Definitely the best I’ve read by far. My second of three children starts kindergarten in 2 days and I’ve been a mess over it, and this helped so much. Had me lmao over the second kid being the bad influence cause it’s SO true hehe. Thanks