Last week we got an email from our adoption agency in Minnesota telling us that ICAB (the Philippines government officials) were COMING for a visit on October 17th…yes, TODAY.
To be completely honest with you, I was so excited because we have been waiting for them to visit our agency for months. They were supposed to come in August, but it got postponed. After I thought about it for about 2 seconds…my excitement turned to panic.
Because here’s the thing… We live in Illinois. And Minnesota and Illinois are not close together. Last week when she told me they would be in Minnesota on October 17th? It was less than 8 days away.
If you’ve never checked flight prices for a flight you need in 8 days, let me just tell you, you might feel like you need to sell your living room furniture to make it happen. It’s not cheap. $600/person not cheap.
Did I mention we have 5 people in our family? I literally spent two whole days in tears.
Should we pay that much and just go? Will this be our only chance to meet them and get answers? Will this negatively affect us if we don’t go?
What if we go, but leave the kids with my parents? Will they look down upon that? Will they understand we did because it was too expensive to fly us all?
What if we leave the kids behind and SJ reverts back to his behavior issues?
Will we be the only family not there? Will this mean we won’t get a referral because we were the family that “didn’t show”?
These are all just some of the thoughts that I battled for a good 48 hours. I didn’t have much time to make a decision because flight prices were just going UP by the day.
And of course, I found all of this out on a Thursday afternoon right before our agency closed for the day and guess what? They are closed on Fridays. So when I called to chat with our social worker about it? CLOSED. NO ONE THERE.
I panicked more. Of course.
And then I emailed our contact and prayed that she checked her work email even though she was off.
Luckily, she emailed me back and gave me her home phone number. I had the chance to chat with her about all of my questions.
At the end of the call I was still debating whether we should go or not. It was such a hard decision.
I want so badly to be there. But putting 3 kids onto my parents with last minute notice was a lot to ask. And then taking them all with us on a plane was too expensive.
That entire weekend my mood was a lot like above. Happy and being funny one second….to all out crying the next second. By they way, how about that progression of a screaming fit by SJ. Hehe!
We prayed about it. A lot. **Not the screaming fit…the trip to Minnesota.
Ultimately we decided against going. Which I feel like was the right decision to make. As bad as I want to be there today, I know that it was nearly impossible to make happen with such short notice.
According to our social worker ICAB will be meeting with our agency employees this morning and then this afternoon they are having a reception for all the families who are waiting. They will be able to meet the ICAB officials and ask questions.
She said it should not in any way negatively impact our adoption or time frame for getting a referral. I’m praying she is right. But would you do me a favor…and pray the same?
I still have mixed emotions about it. I want to believe it won’t “hurt” our chances. But I would appreciate any and all prayers today as our agency is meeting with them.
I’m praying that we get clarity on a time frame for our referral. And I’m praying that so many of the questions I have about the process get answered in their meeting.
I will post any information we get as soon as I know. We have to be getting close to getting a referral…and I hope they can confirm that for us. Thank y’all for praying with me!
Read more about our adoption here.
I can imagine that would be a very tough decision! I completely get why that would be a stressful choice to make and why you’re worried about the potential repercussions. Just remember though, God is bigger than this! His Will will be done regardless of the meeting, so try to find solace in that. (I say that but I know it’s much easier said than done!)
Well, if you ever do come up to Minnesota. Holla at me! With all seriousness though, I will be praying for you guys1
I think the ICAB will see that you made the right decision…your family comes first!
Mandy,
Praying for you! Our agency (in California, and we are in Texas) doesn’t even notify us of visits from ICAB until after the fact. I also happen to know that’s true for another of our agency’s families in Colorado. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to worry us? I don’t know, but I do feel your frustration over the lack of information that is out there.
Hugs,
Reda
ICAB heard all about the Rose Family and saw your beautiful children – thanks for sending the photo! You made the right decision for your family and everything worked out just great!
Oh man! What a rollercoaster! Praying ! Any updates or news?
I think you made the right choice (for whatever that’s worth). You needed to put your family you have now first this time, not the family you want in the future. Things will work out…I just know it!
What a tough decision but you have to do what’s best for your family as a whole. I know it must be so challenging to sit there and wait for answers. We are thinking about you over here!
That is a tough decision but it was a smarter one to stay home. Being able to just drop everything and spend a ton of money on plane tickets just isn’t practical and they should see that. I hope you hear an answer soon!
saying a prayer for you guys right now!
Your words are so inspiring and brings me back to focus on what God’s plan is and not my own! It is so hard to know that God does know what is going to happen and he has planned it perfectly, but I need to step back more often and reflect on how I’m truly so blessed by the grace of God! My husband and I have been married a little over 3 years and I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure about 1 1/2 years ago. It has been an up hill battle dealing with struggling with pleading with God “why me? why us?” But through the struggle in the pain it has helped us to realize that we are NOT in control & I’m so thankful I’m not in control!!! We have now been foster parents for almost a year…feels like it’s been a lot longer. We have 3 kids from the same family an almost 5 year old beautiful little girl that is my mini me! A 5 year old boy that is such a sweet little boy and an 8 year old boy that has a fire in him to learn about God. It is sooo amazing to see how much our kids love God despite their terrible past. One day I was talk to the kids about us adopt them and I said I’m not sure why God had you guys go through all that you did but it was for something amazing to happen in his glory…and our oldest boy said “mom I think it’s so that we could be adopted by you guys and so we could learn about God and know Jesus.” At the time I was driving trying to not get in an accident from the joy I had in me from hearing him proclaim God in ways I never imagined he would ever consider let alone say out loud!!! Foster care to adopt is very difficult but when our kids have our last names all the hardship will be worth it!!! God is so good!!!