One of the things I absolutely love about working from home and running my own business is that my kids see a strong work ethic in me.
On the flip side, one thing that I despise about working from home and running my own business is that my kids see me working. A LOT.
My work day doesn’t always end at 5:00 PM. Sometimes I am squeezing in things when I can because, let’s be honest, when you’re work is AT home…it never goes away.
Like, never.
I struggle with that because when I used to work at my corporate job, my work day ended at 4:30 PM and that was it. Done.
I didn’t think about work again until the next morning at 8:00 AM.
But, it seems like lately my to-do list has been unending and my ability to be able to “shut it off” has been lacking.
I was laying in bed last week and I thought to myself, “Man, I feel like I have been working a lot. On my phone a lot. Responding to emails and messages…A LOT.”
I prayed about it and I specifically asked God to help me get my priorities straight. I know work is important, but nothing is as important as spending time with my kids while they are this age.
I prayed something like this…
To be honest, I woke up the next morning and went about my day as usual. Working into the evening and squeezing in computer time when I should have been outside playing ball with the boys. I spent the ENTIRE weekend on my computer dealing with some website issues, planning a conference and editing pictures.
On Sunday, at the kitchen counter, my oldest son looked at me and we exchanged these words…
Him: Hey mom, you’re the best mom in the world!
Me: Awww, that’s sweet buddy. Thank you. You’re the best son in the world.
Him: There’s only one thing I don’t like about you.
Me: Oh yea, what’s that son?
Him: You never play with us.
Me: I do too! I play lots of things with you.
Him: Not really, you’re always working.
My heart sank into my stomach. Not because I thought I didn’t worked too much or play with him enough, but because…he was right.
Do I play with them? Of course I do.
Do I do it as often as I should? I think his answer said it best, I don’t.
He was speaking truth into me that, as hard as it was, I needed to hear. For some reason, that moment resonated with me and has been on my heart ever since.
I thought, is he going to grow up and tell his future wife, “Yea, I had a great mom, but she never played with us.”
I don’t want him to remember me as that kind of mom.
He’s only 7 and while I know that doesn’t seem very old, it’s a very impressionable age. One that he will likely recall when he’s grown.
I don’t want any of my kids to grow up and remember me as the mom who didn’t play with them.
I think it’s hard for me because they are boys. I never liked baseball or soccer or basketball or hiking or DIRT. Gawwwww, I hated dirt (still do).
I was a girly-girl. These boys are the opposite of everything I ever knew growing up. They want me to play Tonka Trucks, shoot hoops and throw them fly balls. Sometimes it’s hard for me to want to do that. And sometimes I don’t do it.
But I truly believe that God is showing me what my priorities NEED to be despite my, at times, selfish attitude. He used Parker to not only speak honestly to me, but to encourage me to change the way I am living.
To truly get my priorities back in balance and to focus on the things in this life that matter most.
It’s funny the way that God answers our prayers, isn’t it? It’s not always how I imagine, but He is always faithful.
I would highly suggest sitting down and asking yourself this question:
If the answer is yes, good job! God sees your heart and He rejoices that it’s already in the right place.
If the answer is no, good job! God still sees your heart and He knows that even though it might not be in the right place today, you are willing to work and get it to the right place tomorrow.
This is perfect! I work from home and totally understand what you mean! I try to get most of it done while my nanny is here but I tend to work on some later in the day. I am trying to get better at putting the work away for a while in the evening! Thanks for sharing, it’s so great to hear that other mama’s so through the same struggle!
Yes, I feel the same way girl! Glad to know I’m not alone!
I loved this post! I am a new stay at home mom to baby twins and I never imagined how much I would miss going to work! I am so happy to be a mom– it is my every wish come true, but when God answers our prayers we must do the work to deal with the other parts of life that are still present. Thank you for sharing your prayer with us- I found that a powerful piece of the thoughts you shared here:-)
I have been really praying about this same thing lately! It’s also really hard for mama’s who work outside of the home because when they finally ARE home, there is just so much STUFF that needs our attention. This post is perfect timing for me.
Love this quote I have on my fridge:
C S Lewis — ‘Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.’
Love this! I struggle with this all the time. I really try not to work while the girls are awake but somedays that just doesn’t happen. I want my girls to understand that mommy is more than just mommy – she has a business and hobbies and interests that extend past Sophia the First and Minnie Mouse! However, I want to be present. #mamasanity
It is such a hard balance! I want my girls to see that I have a life beyond Sophia the First and Minnie Mouse. I want them to see me doing my passion which is writing and doing my health coaching. However, I want to be present. So hard! #mamasanity
Hi Mandy – My almost 7 year old daughter has been saying the EXACT same comments lately and it’s definitely heartbreaking. It’s made me think if I need to consider taking a different job with less requirements because the time with our kids goes so fast!
Thanks for this post Mandy! I am on maternity leave until September so I am home with an almost 2 year old and my 8 week old twins. I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself to have everything in the house done so that my husband doesn’t have to do anything and we can spend the weekends together as a family. But many times that comes at the expense of my kids so instead of playing with my toddler or holding one of my babies, I am cleaning or organizing or taking care of some chore. This post really made me reevaluate how I am spending my days so thank you!!!
Girl, I can relate to this post all too well. I get caught working at home, and just wasting time…Instagram, Facebook, emails, you name it. It’s a constant battle, but I’m so thankful that there’s grace everyday, and that our kids are so forgiving. To be aware, and know where we need to improve, is totally where to start. I want to be the kind of Momma that puts God, then her kids, first.
Love you, woman! Here’s to being intentional together. XO
nice post. This post should be read by all parents who are too busy to spend time with their kids. Children remember and cherish the time that we spend with them. As parents we should try to give the sweetest memories possible.
Yes! So true!
I struggle so badly with this! I work full-time in an office and by the time I get home at the end of the day I’m exhausted. I hate it that my kids and husband get “whatever is left” of me at the end of the day. They deserve so much more….but I’m so stressed and so tired that I find myself being very short tempered and it’s not fair to them. I’m working on this every day and frankly some days I’m better at it than others. Thank you for this post. It’s so comforting to hear that I’m not alone in the trenches.
You are not alone friend!!
I so needed this. I work from home too and constantly struggle with this. I always feel like I am never enough.
Great post! This is something I remind myself a lot of growing up with a ‘Tiger Mom’. It was more of a dictatorship for us, something I don’t want my kids to remember me by.
You can always count on kids to be totally honest with you when it comes to these things. When you work at home you usually end up working even more, because as you said, it never ends.
This is great, totally things I need to think about and remember. I want to be the mom I want my kids to remember.
Hi Mandy,
Very nice post.
It is true that if you have children it is best to work from home, if you are in that type of occupation which can afford. Being a mom you want your kids to remember is very struggling for a working women. As small kids want your time with them, which if not got they start making their own thoughts.
As being a son of a working mother I better know the priorities, but its best to manage it. By working from home one should strictly consider the timings for work and for family. The both are important and in both your proper time and attention is needed. According to me this kind of mother would be ideal to be remembered as.
Thanks for sharing it, Keep posting like this and Have a nice weekend.
~ Harshwardhan
I can totally relate. My girl once asked me that same question. And, reading your own experience makes me feel less alone. I can totally relate. And, I’m striving to be there for them. To play with them, as they want. May the Lord help me.
Hey Mandy,
Such a great article and a real fresh and authentic approach to parenting. I myself am in a similar position trying to juggle my work life and kid’s and its not easy!
You have some great content on your site too!
Thanks,
Selina
You do have a sweet family, very close knitted. I am happy for you! 🙂
The balance is tough. I juggle a business, a blog, and 5 crazy kids but I think one thing I live by is important. I don’t think I’ll ever regret spending more time with them and writing a little bit less. So, I make sure I’m giving them time first and if I need to set aside time at night, I’ll do so.
Great Share!
I really like your article and you did a great job.
Thanks