I didn’t even know that “soccer mom” was an official term until I googled it. Sure enough, Wikipedia actually has a definition for a soccer mom.
“The phrase soccer mom broadly refers to a middle-class suburban woman who spends a significant amount of her time transporting her school-age children to their sporting events or other activities.”
Hmmm. Sounds about right. I think they left out “typically drives a minivan”. Just my opinion.
I also learned this:
“Soccer moms received so much attention during the election (in 1996) that the American Dialect Society voted “soccer mom” Word of the Year for 1996.”
Although being a “soccer mom” sounds cool, it has taken on some pretty deep criticism in the past few years as well.
“Soccer moms are sometimes accused of forcing their children to go to too many after-school activities; overparenting them in concerted cultivation rather than letting them enjoy their childhood.”
Wow. Kinda harsh right?
I’m embracing my new role as “soccer mom”, but I know that I DON’T want to be THAT soccer mom.
I am not going to be forcing my kids in to doing anything that is not something they enjoy. I think, as a parent, it’s important to push your kids and to lead them in the right direction. I plan to do so. I plan to make academics #1 for my children. Extra curricular activities will come 2nd.
So far P is not too interested in soccer. We signed him up because he said he wanted to play. But, P is a shy kid. You put him in a group larger than 2o people and he tends to be an introvert. When we got to the soccer field on Saturday he was overwhelmed. He was shy. He was scared. He may have even been crying at one point.
As a mom, there was a part of me that wanted to just turn the mini around and take him home. I don’t want him to be upset. Soccer is suppose to be fun. But, I knew that wasn’t the right answer.
Now that he has committed to playing on a soccer team for the fall, I think it is important that he meets that obligation. I want him to stick it out until this season is over.
J & I just try to keep encouraging him. He only kicked the ball one time, but we praised and praised him for it telling him what a great job he did. I could see that our encouragement was making a difference. Although he still wasn’t willingly playing by the end of game 1, I think he made some progress.
And if he decides after this season that he still hates soccer….we won’t make him do it again.
I know P. I know his personality. I feel like soccer may be just like swimming. He wouldn’t even leave the pool steps at the beginning of the summer. But, by the end, he was swimming without a life jacket!
I’m hoping that the more he does it, the more he will like it.
I want to make sure that we don’t show any anger towards him not wanting to play. I definitely don’t want to be on the sidelines yelling at my child because he won’t get on the field. That’s why we just keep using encouraging words. But, I’m curious….
…fellow soccer moms (or heck any moms), what’s your advice?
Just keep up with the praise, he’ll get there 🙂
My son is pretty shy and his first soccer season he wasn’t too interested when we were at the field for practice or games but at home it was all he could talk about. As the 1st season went on he got better about actually participating. This past spring was a completely different story — he loved it and was tearing it up on the field. I think he just felt more comfortable because he had played before and knew more of what to expect. I think you guys are on the right track.
My 9 year old played soccer for 4 years. My 5 yr old son played it for 1 year. They have moved on to volleyball & t-ball respectively for totally different reasons. My daughter started soccer in kindergarten & loved it. Both my husband & I had sedentary childhoods with no father involvement so we wanted to change that. We just wanted a sport to keep her moving & get exercise so soccer it was. She didn’t run very fast & really never showed the determination to keep up with the other players but as long as she was trying & out there moving she was happy. Her team from kinder finally split into boys & girls so she decided to try her hand @ volleyball. My son was just too bored for soccer. He has always told us he wants to play baseball & football so we are trying him @ baseball. Oh. I have been a “soccer mom” complete with white mini van since I was 24.Welcome to the club! 🙂
Well you know ballet wasn’t exactly Addie’s favorite thing in the world last year. She told me she wanted to dance with Nia and Audrey, so I signed her up. It was a battle some days. There were tears and a lot of, “I don’t want to go!” But as soon as she would get in the room and the teacher would turn on the music, she was in heaven. She loves to dance, she loves to be with her cousins and friends, but she is attached to me and I needed to help her get over that a little. I have the same view on parenting…I will never force my kids to do something they don’t want to do. But if we sign on for it, we need to stick it out and see if our attitude changes by the end. Needless to say, we are back in ballet for a second year now. No tears. No shyness. Just little miss super ballerina. P will be the same way with soccer. And if not, football moms are pretty awesome too 🙂
This is so funny because I wrote a soccer post awhile back. I am that mom too so I can console with you.
You are handling the situation just right. He needs your encouragement, and he needs to honor his commitment. If he doesn’t play after this year, that’s his choice. Good job, Mama :). (and he will probably end up loving it as the season goes on!!!!)
I really to this line, “Soccer moms are sometimes accused of forcing their children to go to too many after-school activities; overparenting them in concerted cultivation rather than letting them enjoy their childhood.” There are times that my son get mad at me because I am not supporting him with that he’s doing but now I am really appreciative of what he’s doing like he is a soccer lover.
I totally agree with you! The rule around our house is if you want to participate in something that you have to finish it out, but you don’t have to do it again next year. I think encouragement is the best possible thing.