There was a time in my life when Jesus was the last thing on my mind. In fact, I wasn’t even sure I believed in God.
Not that I didn’t, and not that I did. But I didn’t have enough knowledge to understand what believing in God actually meant.
You see, I grew up with amazing parents. An only child to two very-hard-working-wonderful-loving-beautiful parents. But one thing we didn’t do much when I was younger was attend church or read the Bible.
I’m not putting this all out there so you can judge my parents. Trust me, they have given me MORE in this life than I can ever repay. Not to mention that I am the person I am today {Jesus lover and all} because of their guidance.
They always taught me to do what was right. To be ethical AND help those in need. And to show compassion.
Although they may not be the most spiritual people, it’s clear that God led them in the right direction as they were raising me.
{Please don’t think I am trying to say I turned out to be an angel. LOL! I am far from perfect people. FARRRRR.}
But I did always have it in my heart to do the right thing. And that has to say something for the people who brought me in to this world and showed me the way.
My parents didn’t have me baptized as a baby or child because they wanted me to be old enough to make that decision on my own.
And frankly, when I became old enough to choose…I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to follow Jesus.
I spent my high school years as the “goody-goody”. The friend that didn’t drink or smoke. That NEVER missed curfew. The one who was made fun of for not breaking the rules and living a little. But that was me.
Rule follower glory and all.
Up until that point I had lived my life thinking…if I do what’s right then that’s good enough.
What I was soon to learn?
Doing what’s right is important, but doing it with the intent to glorify God is even more important.
College came and things changed a bit. I started to test the waters with alcohol and partying. It was fun, but it was never me.
I met Jeff my third year in to college and to say that the beginning of our relationship wasn’t something out of a soap opera would be a lie. I talked about that a few weeks ago…cheating, lying, manipulating. All things that I am not proud of.
But I did. And he did.
Our pre-marital fights were some of the most dramatic fights we’ve ever had. I even went as far as throwing a fork at him once {not my proudest moment}.
You know when they say things get really bad before they get better? That was pretty much the case with my relationship with Jesus. I went through a phase in my life where attending church, following God and serving the Lord were the FURTHEST thing from my memory.
Clearly. Throwing forks were more important to me. Ahem.
Then we went through the deployment. A time in my life where I wish I would have known Jesus. Gosh, can you imagine how much more peace I would have had in my heart?
I spend that entire 17 months an emotional mess. Sure I prayed occasionally. Because that’s “what you do” when your husband is overseas. You pray for safety. Except my prayers had little meaning because I had no faith.
I remember after he came home and we had been attending his dad’s church for a few months how bored I was. I dreaded every single Sunday morning that we would go to church.
I was going for him. And he was going for his dad. His dad was extremely involved in the church and we knew how disappointed he would be if we didn’t show up.
I finally got so fed up that I begged my husband to seek a new church with me. One that I would relate to more. There was absolutely nothing wrong with his dad’s church, but it just wasn’t the place I felt close to God. And so, after a heart-to-heart with his dad, we set out on a mission to find our own church.
Almost exactly 6 years ago {to the day} we walked through the doors of our now church home. It changed my life forever.
I had no idea how God was gonna rock my entire world in just a few short years.
I went from feeling uneasy around the people raising their hands during worship to the actual one who sat front and center, both hands raised during worship.
I went from trying to be in control of everything in my life to letting Him control my present and future.
I went from having a heart of stone at times, to a heart of flesh and one that longed to please my Father.
It was true…He was changing me.
Here all along I thought what I was doing was “good enough”. I thought if I just had good morals and treated people with respect that I would be worthy. But the truth was, until I believed in Him and gave my life to Him…nothing I was doing was worthy.
In August of 2011 both my husband and I got baptized together.
Our hearts forever changed.
I can not explain to you how different it is to live your life following Jesus as opposed to just living your life “trying to do what’s right”.
Completely changed me. Completely changed our marriage.
All of those years that I didn’t love God…I was still trying to do what was right. But the one thing that was missing? The “why” behind what I was doing.
I was selfish. If I did anything good or worthy I wanted to take all the glory. I did things so that I would look better. I lived my life thinking, “Me, me, me…what is in this life for ME!”
I held grudges. I was quick to judge. My heart was cold. And I rarely forgave.
In fact, I could spend months holding resentment towards my husband over the smallest things. MONTHS!
Slowly but surely, one prayer at a time…I began to have faith. I began believing that Jesus is above all else. It took time. A lot of time actually. I wasn’t one of those who prayed to be saved one Sunday, got baptized the next Sunday and immediately worshipped Jesus in everything I did.
In fact, I am still a work in progress. I still find myself being selfish at times. But my marriage and my relationship with my husband is so much different now that we are trying to follow God.
It’s amazing how different your world can be when you put your faith in Him. Our fights no longer consist of me throwing forks. I actually can’t even imagine doing something so stupid.
We still fight, just like any married couple. But I truly believe our fights are 100% different now. Am I saying that my anger doesn’t get the best of me and I don’t occasionally drop a few bad words on him when I am really mad? No, I still do that.
Now when we fight…instead of letting it get out of control. I walk away and I pray. I turn to Jesus and ask him to show me the way. And my husband does the same.
Here’s an exert from a text conversation from one of our last arguments:
Husband: “I prayed last night regarding {xxxxxxx} and I feel like God revealed some things to me.”
I am so proud of the spiritual leader that my husband is. I can see that he loves Jesus in everything he does. Whether it be his blog or his business or just playing with the children, I know that his main goal is to serve the Lord.
I wish I had more space to write about our adoption and tithing and so many more topics that have been of importance to us. The truth is, God has not just changed our hearts in certain areas He has changed our hearts in all things. Rather than letting this become a book {as I’m already 1,400 words in}…I’m going to do a “to be continued….”
I really just can’t leave out the other great things God has done for our marriage so stay tuned.
Looking back I wish I could thank his dad {he’s no longer with us} because if it wasn’t for him pushing us to attend a church…we may have never found our deep relationship with God.
[ois skin=”Home Tour 2″]
It’s been such a great experience to write about my marriage…the struggles, the love and everything in between. Thank you all for reading these posts and for the encouragement you have give me through comments and emails!
So glad you joined us for the Love & Marriage series. Please don’t forget to check out the posts from Jenna, Shay, Jenn, Lindsay, and Megan.
If you have a marriage story you would like to share please feel free to link it up below.
This is such a blessing to me. I love to hear of stories where my Lord gets all the glory! HE is so worth it!
This is a great story Mandy. I too am so glad that God pours out his grace in unending amounts.
~Sarah
I am so happy that you and your husband found the right church, I agree with you in that you need a church and church family that clicks with you and helps you grow. I also agree that having a relationship with Jesus helps us to know what we are here for and also strengthens our relationships here on Earth. I love that my husband and I can go to church together, pray together and talk about Him together. I can’t imagine how different our relationship would be if we did not share that. Thanks for sharing another story! 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing your story! In short, your story is very similar to My Husband and I’s. We had both been baptized as children but wanted to recommit ourselves to the Lord so we were baptized the day before our wedding in May of 2011. I am so thankful to God every day for giving us eachother 🙂 I look forward to following you and your family, you are in inspiration.
Mandy, I really enjoyed reading your posts on marriage these past few weeks. I am single, I’ve never been married, but on a personal level, I felt like I could relate to your journeys the best. I especially loved reading this post today, where you shared your heart on how you came to know God later in life. I waited until I was almost twenty before I invited God into my life…I had experienced many tribulations before I made that decision, and I too, wished I would have had the Lord in my life as I walked down those paths. I wrote a little about that here http://iheartbrowneyes.blogspot.com/2011/10/teen-mom.html
If you’re ever interested in reading it one day. Again, thank for sharing your heart, I have loved reading each of your posts on this series.
What a beautiful testimony !! You really blessed my day. My husband and I just celebrated 42 years of marriage. We never really fought but there have been struggles through the years — unemployment, finances, health problems, etc. We didn’t walk through those alone though as the Lord was always with us. We were blessed with two wonderful children and now 8 grandchildren. One of the biggest blessings of my life was to led my Mother (83 years young) to the Lord last year. The Lord worked through our family to reach her. That was the answer to a prayer of over 50 years. Today she attends church regularly and is at such peace. Glory be to God in the highest !!
Continue your walk with the Lord and He will carry your burdens throughout your lives and bless you abundantly.
I thoroughly enjoy your blog.
Betsy
You have quickly become one of my very favorite people! I’m so happy Jesus came into your life, the life of your husband and ultimately, your marriage. What a wonderful testimony to others. I hope we work together in the future! Lots of love!
LOVE this post! I just started reading your blog through Jenn at Munchkinland and this post made me a little teary! I’m not married and never have been, but believe so wholeheartedly in living out this kind of marriage. I have felt so connected to you guys just through a few reads and watching your youtube videos! Look forward to reading more and being encouraged by what God is doing in and through you both!
Thank you so much for writing that! I cried. I have been reading your story every week. I know what the power of God can do in a person’s life. God brought me through one of the darkest times a person can go through, and I have been writing about it on my blog. It is a page called Living With Addiction, and it is very difficult to write about, but it is helping me close the door to a dark chapter in my life. And the good news is that God did bring me and my children through it and there is a happy ending! I haven’t gotten to it yet in my story on the blog though.
I’m a single 23 year old but I feel like I grew up a lot like you did. I’m the youngest of four children and my parents took us all to church but stopped going when I was still very young because it was difficult to get us all ready on Sunday mornings. That being said, I have zero recollection of going to church as a child. My parents also didn’t have us Baptized because they wanted us to make the decision. Even though my parents didn’t bring us up religiously, they demanded respect and for us to be good kids, which we were, even though I made some mistakes. I always had a sense of who Jesus was even through my drinking in high school and partying in college. It wasn’t until 2011 that I asked Jesus into my heart and I was baptized on New Years Day 2012. All of my siblings have found The Lord at different times and it’s a really special thing to share. My brother, who found Jesus about 8 years ago and became a pastor, was the one who Baptized me, too. My life is forever changed and I’m now living not for myself, but for Him.
Great post! And sorry about my novel of a comment, haha. I love your blog!
What an amazing story! Thank you for sharing and being so relatable.
God has been speaking to me in the last few months about the kind of wife I am. I’ve noticed that I spend all of my patience on my kids, but don’t give my husband enough grace. If I wrong him, he shrugs it off and forgives easily. If he wrongs me, I don’t get over it as quickly and drag arguments out. I want to be patient and give grace more easily. Am I the only woman like this? I’d be curious to see if other couples have the same dynamic. I’m working on it!
Oh how I love absolutely everything about this post! I love it when we can look back and see changes in ourselves and know only God can be responsible for them. I love that you are so real and admit to having struggles and things that you’re still working on. And I LOVE seeing a couple so committed to keeping God at the center of your marriage and family! Thank you so, so much for sharing, Mandy!
~Abby =)
Love, love, love this! It’s been so fun to see what God has done with you guys over the years!
What an awesome blog post! It is so neat seeing people be so open about their faith. Your God story is similar to mine. I loved the text your husband sent. Makes such a difference having a spiritual husband. You are so blessed! I’m so glad I found your blog and can’t wait to read more in the future! God bless!
Your blog has become one of my favorites!! I love your stories and although I don’t have me and my husband’s marriage story yet, you have inspired me to do my own series soon. God has done SUCH tremendous things for our marriage-we were really struggling and it was bad. I cannot imagine if I did not have God in my life. I too grew up without ever going to church (except a few big holidays) but have always been very spiritual, and grew up in a home where I was taught respect at the upmost level. But like you, until I grew into a full-fledged live for Him relationship with Jesus, I never really truly got to experience what love and respect truly mean. Can’t wait to continue to get to know you more.
Although I respectfully disagree with this post, I feel like I have to say something. I’m not trying to offend anyone and I’m not trying to start a religious debate. I grew up believing in God. I wasn’t baptized as a child because my dad isn’t personally religious and while my mom believes in God, she didn’t want to baptize me if my dad was uncomfortable with it. And I think they both agreed it was a decision I should make for myself. We never attended church regularly, either. Looking back, I think I believed in God because I thought I was supposed to and that it would be bad not to.
I wasn’t raised in the church and I don’t think we even had a Bible in the house. My parents always taught me to do what was right, to respect myself and to respect others. Honestly, I think I was a nicer and well-behaved child than some of the kids at my school who were raised in the church and judged me for not being part of it. I went out so rarely in high school, that my parents never gave me a curfew. I never got in trouble at school or at home. About halfway through high school, I started to really question WHY I believed in God. Because I felt like I was supposed to? Like I would be judged and shamed if I didn’t? None of those are good reasons but they were the only reasons I had. I started to research Christianity and Humanism/atheism. And then I went to Europe. I visited the Vatican and a lot of the world’s oldest and most beautiful churches. On one hand, I was in awe of how beautiful they are. On the other hand, I couldn’t help but wonder what those who built them had to go through and how they were treated in the name of glorifying God. It was surprising to me how much those churches (Westminster Abbey in London, for example) are now more tourist attractions than they are actual churches. For example, you have to pay to get into Westminster Abbey because that’s where Shakespeare and many other significant figures are buried. And there’s always a line to get into Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, not to attend Mass, but to look at all the architecture and stained glass inside the church. Those who do attend Mass, which is in Latin, at this church are mostly tourists who seemed more interested in the beauty of the church than Mass itself, at least when I was there.
There are definitely things I personally disagree with about religion but there’s a lot in my life I’m thankful for that would not have happened without religion. For example, my mom had problems with drugs when I was a baby. She got clean when I was two using the 12-step program (which is based on the Ten Commandments) and has been sober for about 18 years. She’s also struggled for most of her life with depression and an eating disorder, both of which she’s also gotten help for and says it helps her a lot to pray in moments of weakness. That’s great. I’m so thankful that she’s alive and happy today and that she has something to help her when she needs it.
My boyfriend is Catholic. I support his beliefs, even if I don’t agree with them and he does the same for me. We have a very good relationship. We have arguments every once in a while but we always make sure to talk through them. Religious beliefs aside, we have a lot in common. We make it work.
Right now, I consider myself Humanist. Maybe that will change someday and I’ll get baptized. Either way, my first priority will always be to do what is right, not to judge others and to help others when I can.
Again, I’m not trying to offend anyone. I really do like this blog. 🙂 Oh, and I’m sorry this comment got so long.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I feel like I reading my own relationship with Jesus. My heart jumps when I hear stories like this and how he truly has a plan for all of us. God bless you Mandy and your marriage. 🙂
Thanks for sharing this amazing story! God is so good to save us!
Beautiful Story and Beautiful Family 🙂
thanks for sharring…I love this series and hope you will talk about tithing and your spiritual influences….My husband and I have also come along way but from condemnation to Grace and guy in singapore Joseph Prince who is the lead pastor of New creation church has helped! he is the bomb! thanks again!
I just found your blog through Our Fifth House. I absolutely love this post and am your newest follower. I have one little guy and cannot imagine how crazy life must be with 3! 🙂
Hi Heather! Thanks for stopping by from Carmel’s blog! Love her! Headed to check out your blog now!
And THIS is why I love reading your blog, Mandy! Thanks so much for your transparency and for sharing this with us 🙂 My favorite part was discovering the “why” behind the kind, loving things you do! Your blog is one of my favorites, because of your honesty and how hilarious you are! Blessings on you and your family!!!
Awwww, thank you so much Joanna! That means a lot to me that you think that!
I just found your blog through Mix and Match Mama, and loved reading your story! I have had a similar change when God saved me, and I love to hear how he redeems his children!!! Also, I see that you are adopting! My husband and I adopted our two girls from Ethiopia! Adoption is such an amazing, difficult, fabulous blessing! I look forward to hearing more about it! Enjoyed stopping by!
Thanks so much for stopping by Danielle! Sorry for the delayed response! Going to check out your adoption story now!
What a great testimony! I really enjoyed reading your story of faith and your journey of coming to Jesus. What a blessing to be baptized with your husband and to be growing together in Christ. Blessings to you!
Thanks that you decided for speaking about this.