Nightly bedtime routines are the death of me. No really, they are.
I have no one to blame but myself.
I feel like I’m supermom when it comes to infant bedtimes. Notice I said INFANT. Also notice…I no longer have any infants.
When we start talking toddler bedtimes…I became a big mom failure.
When my kids were babies {4 months to 2 years old} I conquered the sleep training thing like it was my job.
I had Bents and SJ going to bed by 6:00 pm at 6 months old and sleeping until 6:00 am. My friends would often tease me because if we ever had them over…they would NEVER get to see my youngest kids because they were already in bed. Asleep.
I can remember how jealous they were that I actually got my kids down so early.
And the thing about it is? They went to bed happily.
I would just go lay them in the crib, turn on the white noise, give them a few smooches and that was it! Rarely ever did they cry or even want me to rock them.
Heck, there were nights that I WISHED they would let me rock them. I so badly wanted to snuggle them.
I’m sad to say the 6:00 pm bedtime routine is long gone. The second my kids turned two…things changed. Maybe it was the fact that they were able to talk and tell me “No night night mommy.” And I caved.
I can’t explain what happens around age 2, but all 3 of them became night time monsters. High maintenance monsters.
I’m guessing the crib is one of the reason it’s no longer as easy. I can’t contain them in a bed. It’s like the second they know they can get out…they ain’t staying in their room. {Except SJ…he’s still in his crib, but doesn’t care to go to bed before 8:30 pm}.
AND they demand that we lay with them. So we do it.
Each night I put SJ down in his crib around 8:30 {oh, I miss you 6:00 pm} and then I lay with P Man and my husband lays with Bents.
The problem…we lay with them for what’s suppose to be 15 minutes turned 45 minutes and before we know it…it’s almost 10:00 pm and we’ve had no “us” time.
No “me” time.
No nothing.
As if that’s not bad enough…we leave their rooms and no more then 20 minutes later they walk back out for “more hugs” or “more kisses” or “more juice” or “more snacks” or “more fill in the blank”. GAH!
They go back to bed easily, but still…why can’t they just fall asleep! And why oh why won’t they just stay in their rooms?!
So I decided that the night time nightmare must end.
I need to reclaim my evenings with my husband.
It was night one…but we did not lay with them. We tucked them in, kisses and hugs, and told them if they come out of their room they will be grounded for life.
Ok, maybe the last part was an exaggeration. But for whatever reason…they listened.
And everyone was sound asleep…in their OWN beds BEFORE 9:00 pm.
Happy dance.
It might have taken some iPad coaxing…but, hey, I’m willing to do what it takes.
What’s your night time routine with your kids? Are you a bedtime rockstar or do you struggle like me?
[ois skin=”Home Tour 3″]
At our house, bedtime is bedtime. No ifs, ands or butts about it. It’s mom and dad time. “Get your pjs on, brush your teeth, gimmie a kiss and GO TO BED!! I love you and will see you in the morning!!””
We are having this same sort of issue but maybe dialed down a bit since we only have one child over the age of two. But it hit right around two when she moved to a toddler bed. Luckily she wont leave her room but will insist on being rocked (which I dont mind) but she will repeatedly ask every 10 min or so for about an hour if we “let”her. We used to have her sleep trained just as good as you did too! The only way I have found to make this rocking thing end is I will rock her just once for about 5 min or less and then I tell her that I will not be coming back to her room. Somehow that does the trick…but if I forget to warn her that I’m NOT coming back she will keep yelling to be rocked! silly kids!
Wow! I felt like I was looking in a mirror…my nights are much of the same! We try and fail each and every night. Some nights we give in a let her sleep with us or I lay with her which ends in me sleeping on the floor half the night and miserable the next day. When will it get better???
We are having issues with our 3 year old. But he’s our firstborn and he is oh so cute. I don’t mind the snuggles when he crawls into bed with us. And he knows just the words to say, tell me he wants snuggles and that he loves me. But I do miss my husband…
Our 4 month old goes down like a pro. But I think it is time to get serious about my preschooler’s bedtime!
We started with my daughter reading one book. Then our prayers and we sing twinkle twinkle and our abcs. Then it turned into two books. It’s now up to five books. Plus prayers and songs. But usually by twinkle twinkle she’s sound to sleep. I always read her books in the dark. The same five books every night, I’m a pro at memorizing them so I just turn pages when necessary. Both kids are now in bed and asleep by 8:30 (most every night!).
As I am typing this comment I can hear my sleep detesting 3 year old upstairs walking around. He has escaped the 36inch gate we bought to “contain” him and has probably yet again stuffed the upstairs toilet with a whole roll of toilet paper. It is exhausting. Once we finally get him to sleep he will crawl into our bed around 5AM to demand breakfast, cold milk and the iPad. He may let me sleep…he might not. Sooooo over the sleeplessness. Let’s just say he knows how to make me coffee in the mornings. For real. My 10 month old? FANTASTIC ANGEL who sleeps for 12 hours straight. Thank the Lord! He knows how to balance them out.
We have two boys. They are eleven and three. After seeing the extended bedtimes that my nephews had (very similar to you) we knew it was either come up with a plan or never see our friends when they came over. My SIL would be putting the kids to bed until 10 most nights.
Hubby and I have a steadfast bedtime routine. When the boys were big enough to sit up, we started reading two books before bed. We also instilled the zero electronics rule one hour before bed. No TV, iPod, video game or anything requiring batteries or electricity. Period.
So far, it’s worked like a charm. The only adjustment is that our oldest now reads to himself. Just no scary stories or comics. It has to be something that holds his attention and makes him think beyond a quick laugh.
I know it doesn’t sound like we are super fun, but hubs and I are both teachers and we can totally tell the difference between kiddos that fall asleep early and those that don’t. Good luck! I’m pulling for you!
PS. The quiet time hubby and I have isn’t bad either. We can actually finish our sentences!
Landon has never really slept well. When he was a baby he was up nursing every few hours. He actually slept great from 12-18 months, then it all went to hell. For months and months, one of us would have to sit in his room or on the floor right outside with the door open and hall light on for a good 45-60 min before he’d fall asleep. If we tried to leave, he’d flip out and he wouldn’t calm down after a few min, we tried. Then he decided he only wanted ME for bedtime, which makes me super jealous and resentful of my husband, but it is what it is. We’re finally at the point where I can leave the room with Landon awake (after telling him where I was going, and that he was going to sleep in his own bed, not whine or cry, etc.), but I have to have the hall light on, his door open, and go into my own room down the hall. If he takes a long time to go to sleep, I usually do go downstairs while he’s still awake and he doesn’t usually get upset, but it’s still a bit of a pain regardless. Sometimes he wakes up randomly in the middle of the night and we have to get him back down. If it takes too long he goes into our bed, but we don’t like to do that. It’s much easier now than it used to be (L will be 2.5 in December), but I wouldn’t say I am a bedtime rockstar by any means hahah
Soooo glad you posted this. Right now, we only have 1 child and she’s 1. I have her sleep trained very well, but I can see how al bets will be off once the crib is gone. Eeeeek!
The best piece of advice I ever got about bedtime was this: Everyone has a bedtime routine, yours just happens to include…. (laying down with them, screaming and yelling, crying, whatever it is”. So whenever we seem off track I just remind myself that it’s time to change our bedtime routine. And in my experience it takes three nights for the change to stick.
I am the one all of my friends made fun of about my sleep training! But, I have 3 kids that sleep awesome now so I’m glad I was such a nut. As soon as my oldest transitioned to a toddler bed, I did the supernanny routine with her. It took a couple of weeks but she never got out of her bed after that. She is 5 and goes to sleep on her own like an angel. My boy/girl twins will be moving to toddler beds soon and I plan on using the same technique. My husband and I have alone time every night and its wonderful.
Oh man! Bed time! My daughter is very similar to this. She was a great sleeper too until we took her crib away for baby #2, and then she turned three shortly after that and I dread bedtime. Every night it seems to get longer and longer, stories….more hugs more kisses. And then often times she’ll sneak into our room while we’re watching t.v. downstairs and fall asleep. Then we gotta bring her back to her room, and then she wakes up in the middle of the night and wants in our room again. Ugh… I know it won’t last forever though, so we manage
I am right there with you! I have a feeling you are in good company with this one! Ava was a my mission – like you, I conquered the sleep training like a boss, and Isla was a dream sleeper. She didn’t want rocked, held; she just wanted a kiss and put down. Done. Now, Eden is almost 6 mos old and still snoozing happily by my side each night. And this girl can scream like no body’s business, so I don’t even fight it. I have no idea where to start with her. Shouldn’t it get easier??? Shouldn’t I be a pro by now?! And to top off that mess, A & I are become ninja masters in all things bedtime-related…
Whoa typos. Sorry. Sleep-deprived mother here… 😉
Chase has been struggling with bedtime this week. He was struggling with sleeping period. We finally got him to sleep through the night last night. I think he was cold and we had to figure out comforter and pjs to get him the right temp. Since he still had trouble falling asleep tonight I think I’ll be trying no tv after 7:30 tomorrow. I know SJ and Chase are really close in age. Chase usually wakes up for the day around 8 am and naps from 12:30-2:30 or 3. The rules that were working before were no rough housing after 7:30. Bath at 8 and then a 5 min story and then in bed in dark and I would sit there for 20 mins and he would be asleep by 9ish. Time change is coming up soon so we will get them going to bed an hour earlier with no effort yay!
My son, sometimes fights to go to bed. We have been (so far) fairly consistent about bed time. When we have evening events at church it ends up being later that normal. My son also has an earlier than I want wake up problem. He wakes at the crack of dawn, pretty much every morning. His bed time was 8pm, we have moved it up to 7ish when we aren’t at church late. I would go insane without the evening time I get with my hubby. Even if we are both exhausted and all we end up doing is watching some TV together. It helps to have time to connect. My baby girl is ready for bed at 6:30pm. If we can get her to stay up a bit with brother we do, because they share a room right now. I’m really not sure what kind of magic powers we have over our children because neither will get out of bed with out us. So they just call us. Its kinda awesome, and I have NO CLUE how long it will last, but they are both now in beds and are totally capable of getting out on their own, they just don’t. I think that helps. I have no clue how it happened… I’m just thankful!
My B. is 20m old, and still sleeping in the crib, but our sleeping routine is changing in every two weeks 🙂 I am soooo lucky (and I mean seriously LUCKY), that since he was born, it was always his dad, who put him to the crib. As dad is working usually until 7pm (or 7:30 or 8….) they do the bathing (without me, don’t be jealous 🙂 ) just before 9pm, and at 9pm B. drinks a glass of milk, and try to fall asleep. Sometimes it takes 5 minutes, sometimes 2 hours…And until that dad stays with him. I am lucky, because I have me-time from 9pm, but our-time usually starts at 9:30 or 10pm. Which is for me tooo late. It is hard, and I am already afraid of the situation, if a little brother or sister arrives.
I’m glad it is not just me! We only have 1 two year old (with another on the way) and we go through streaks….sometimes it is so easy and other times it takes hours. We have him in a toddler bed, but we put a baby gate on his door so he can’t get out, which I think helps him go down. I don’t even care if he plays quietly for a little bit and I have found him sleeping on the floor by his gate. He doesn’t go down until 8:30pm and gets up by 6:30am at the latest. If you find the secret let me know 🙂 Hang in there, someday they’ll be teenagers and sleep all the time and I’ll take great enjoyment in waking them up 🙂
It is probably a good thing that we are not neighbors because I am in love with those boys. I would invite them over, feed them cookies and candy , and then let them stay up until midnight. They are so cute that I could never tell them no! BUT – my daughter is 12 and we are experiencing the same thing right now. She sees herself as our equal because there are only 3 of us. Not good. She wants to stay up until we go to bed, which is 9:30 – but then we have no time together. When we return from vacation, she will go to bed and read for a few minutes. Then lights out. Kids need their sleep. I think our kids are controlling us! Give them firm guidelines and stick to them. That being said from someone whose child thinks she is an adult(: Good luck!! Susan
Consistency is key. We have a very strict routine that we have done every night with Brady for the last 4 years, and even though there are so many nights I want to skip the bath, or just lay with him in bed, I know that if I give him an inch, he’ll take a mile. So we do the same thing, night after night, and he finds the consistency to be comforting. There isn’t any nighttime drama because he knows exactly what he’s going to get. Bath, teeth brushing, book, song, sip of water and one last potty break. Sounds rigid, but I have “we” or “me” time every night after 8pm! Good luck 🙂
ps. It isn’t perfect around here, the little guy is already a sleep fighter. Ugh.
I feel like one of the lucky ones this time…lol Bed time has always been rather easy in this house. I’m not really sure why?!?! I have 4 kids 3 boys and 1 girl and I have always just had very clear routine, I had to other wise I was going to go mad, Its always the same and it starts from the moment they get home from school.
Afternoon tea
free time till dinner
Dinner
homework
Bath time
stories
lights out
And thats how it is everyday, sometimes we will take a trip to the park after dinner and everything gets pushed back 1/2 hour, but mostly its the same and with in 5 minutes of lights out i have 3 kids asleep. the trick is to just find what works for you, and don’t stress it.
We struggle with this, too! We even have the boys in the same room to help combat it. Don’t get me wrong, I love laying down with them, but I really miss having adult time. Since the school year has started, we’ve been doing a lot better. We have them upstairs by 8:30-45, and if all goes well, we’ve read some books, said our prayers and read a Bible story and they’re asleep by 9:20. Still, it’s a long time to lay awake in the dark, but it sure beats falling asleep upstairs and stumbling down sometime in the middle of the night.
Ok when I saw this video, I so thought of you! Hope it makes you smilehttps://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=743853562307464
I honestly thought I was seeing the terrible two’s again with my four year old when it came to bed time. It seems like both kids (11 and 4) have some excuse why they can’t go to bed. We start at 8:30 and at 9:05 we are still fighting with each of them to get to bed. It’s sometimes harder to get them into bed then out of bed in the mornings. Of course, Saturday mornings they are up rise and shine without us having to wake them, go figure.
Oh please don’t tell me it gets worse. My almost 3 year old is still in her crib and does not attempt to climb out. Everything is peaceful right now with bedtime at 830 and waking up at 7 am. As long as it keeps going like this she will be in her crib until her legs are poking through the bars. lol.