Some years are for building and some are made for tearing down. This has definitely been a year of tearing down for me.
I’m declaring 2015 the year of “letting go”.
I’ve learned a ton this past year about how to mother a spirited child, why it’s important to practice grace in your marriage and what it means to not to just “hear” God, but to act on it.
Because y’all, do you know how many things I “hear’ and ignore? So, so many things.
I have also learned what it feels like to have someone you love murdered by violence. I’ve learned what it looks like when your family comes together like a strong force to support one another.
I’ve learned why business matters, but my people matter more.
And I’ve learned that, day by day, I am letting go of that selfish 20 year old girl inside me so that I can serve the Lord, my family and the important people in my life.
Am I perfect?
Heck no.
But little by little, I can see changes. Positive changes.
And that’s what we call… winning.
Because everything in a family of 4 boys… involves a competition. Ha. In case you didn’t know.
On to the recap of letting go.
Last year, Natalie and I let go of Happy Mommy Box.
For those of you who didn’t follow House of Rose during that time, it was a subscription box services for moms… basically, a surprise care package delivered to your doorstep each month.
It was good. No, not just good – fantastic.
It was thriving. It was encouragement to other moms. It was amazing. It was profitable.
But it was exhausting. So exhausting that I had started to become an unhappy mommy.
Ironic, hey?!?
After a ton of prayer (and nudges from God), we finally decided to stop Happy Mommy Box and redirect our focus on our calling of “Mother”.
It was so hard for me. On one hand, I was so relieved to be done. But, on the other hand, it was a huge part of the good work that I was doing online and for others. I kept thinking that if it was “good” then it meant I should keep doing it.
For months I remained torn. But I can confidently say… 110% it was the right choice.
Good work doesn’t always equal right timing and for this time in my life, the time was not right.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s still been hard to “let go” of that piece of my work. It defined me for a few years and once it was over… I was left wondering, “What is my purpose Lord?”
Sometimes God doesn’t always reveal our purpose in our time.
Let me rephrase that.
He has very clearly revealed that His purpose for me during this time of my life is exactly what I was doing before all this Happy Mommy Box stuff… being present for my children and husband.
Letting go of Happy Mommy Box also meant that I had to let go of the idea of doing something “big” with my platform right now. I’ve been working so hard on this blog thing for so long and it’s hard to hear God say, “slow down child”. Especially from a Type A person like me.
But I’m resting in the peace of knowing that “slow down child” doesn’t mean I will never do something more. It just means, that right now, I will be a wife and mother and anything above and beyond that… will have to wait.
So, I have finally come to terms with my 2016 GOAL (yes, I said goal – because I have one main goal).
TO BE PRESENT FOR MY HUSBAND AND CHILDREN.
That doesn’t mean I will stop writing here, this is always been an outlet for me and something I enjoy.
But it does mean, that I don’t have any big projects planned or concocted for 2016 when it comes to the online world. And that is ok with me.
My husband and I will still continue our podcast and marriage content and I will still be blowing up Instagram with things that 4 year olds say.
But, nothing more. Nothing bigger. And I am ok with that. Because right now, my calling is “mother” and I don’t want to screw that up.
So friends, what are your goals for this next year?
Maybe you are at a time in your life for building… and that is ok! One day I will be back to building.
Or maybe you are feeling like me and will be taking the year to slow down.
If you love to listen to podcasts, you can hear more about my goals and motherhood on The Happy Hour interview I did with Jamie Ivey.
I even talked about our Vegas marriage and the latest news on our adoption.
Doesn’t it feel good though, to start a new year without a large list of goals. Slowing things down and focusing on what really matters… it’s a good place to be. Happy New Year! 🙂
It totally does! Such freedom!
I loved listening to your podcast yesterday, it was a bright spot in my day after losing my Grandpa just a few days earlier. I’m feeling the nudge to slow down in 2016 as well.
I’m so so sorry to hear about your Grandpa! … Hoping you take the nudge and do slow on down this year!
Mandy, I couldn’t love this post any more. I feel like this past year, catch phrases like “hustle” were thrown around as if they were the ultimate goal for humanity. As if somehow our worth was wrapped up in the amount of things we could accomplish (gag me).
If we’re not pairing down, focusing on what truly matters, then all that hustle and bustle is in vain. As always, love your heart. Love watching your journey. XO
Thank you so much Laura! Love love love this!
Oh Mandy, this is so good.
While our life circumstances look different, the feeling of taking a break from the hustle and making big business things happen looks the same.
I’m less than 3 months away from having our first baby and in anticipation of that, I’m taking an indefinite break from shooting weddings. I’ve been a portrait and wedding photographer for the last 6+ years so knowing this year will not only include the transition to motherhood but will look completely different work-wise is a very weird feeling to me. I too am Type A and unapologetically so. I know that my life is about to be shaken up in ways I can’t imagine, and while probably one of the hardest things I will ever go through, it will no doubt be the most meaningful too.
My 2016 word is “Surrender” and my one goal this year is to truly surrender to what God has in store for this year. To surrender to the last 3 months of this pregnancy. To surrender to labor and delivery. To surrender to the transition to motherhood. To surrender to the new phase of my career. To surrender to expectations and worry, and really try to rest in whatever God has planned. While that’s not an easy goal, it will be one that is so worthwhile.
Prayers for you in this 2016 year!
Congrats on your first little one! It’s such a sweet time… and I love the word surrender – what a beautiful word for 2016. Thank you so much!
Love this so much! I feel like slowing down and letting go can be so hard, especially as a woman and a mom. I am also embracing the “letting go” and resting…learning what to take off the beam and what to leave on (thanks Jen Hatmaker!). It feels good, and leaves more room to do the important things well. Thanks for the encouragement!
Hannah, Jen’s got it right… love that book!
I applaud you for listening to God and “slowing down” to be a wife and a mother. I have always felt that that wasn’t enough for me and felt the need to do more. I also feel that being a wife and a mother is my calling. Thanks for putting it into perspective for me. It’s nice to know others feel the same way.
Absolutely! So glad to have women like you confirming it!
Every new year I’ve always had a huge list of goals and to-do’s! I’ve always been the type that “needs” to be busy all the time. This past October I had my first baby and my husband and I decided for me to stop working to raise our daughter. Even though that has always been my dream I’ve felt that God has been telling me to slow down and rest as well and that’s left me wondering what God wants me to do with my life! But this post confirmed what he has been telling me all along. Rest and be present for my husband and daughter.
Thank you for sharing this post!
In 2016 – I’ve put together a list of “Challenges” that we will maneuver through. For example – right now, we’re 6 days deep into our “30-Day NO AMAZON” challenge. Each one is designed to help the family either financially or emotionally. If you want to know what the others are, just send me an email to [email protected]. Love you guys!
Kim,
Thats a great way to partner together with your family – love hearing this! Thanks for sharing!
Oh Girl! This is exactly what the Lord has been telling me, even more my mind and body. I work full time out of the home (not because I WANT to, but because it is what is needed for my family). I say that because I have been wearing myself out and have become a monster of a mom with filling my life with other things rather than making my focus 100% on my kids and family. My husband and I are in the ministry so it is very easy to be overcome with the desires to help, and serve here and everywhere but I have realized that right now is my time to be a mom and wife first and foremost. This is my year to chill out and relax and to choose JOY in all aspects of my life. Find the balance in everything and that right there is SO hard for me. I’m a either all in, or all out kind of person – it drives me crazy!
I love our student ministry and will still host fun girls events and be apart, but I am so looking forward to shifting my focus on my family and duties as a wife. To be all that I can be for my husband and in turn our 3 kids, ages 2-7! I only have this time now, and they’ll only be little right now. They need me to be the best mom I can be, full of grace, mercy, love, wisdom, KINDNESS – not rushed, busy, tired, cranky, on edge momma.
Good bye to the hustle and bustle of 2015, and thank you Jesus for a calm and focused 2016!
YES AND YES!
Love this SO much. I too feel a calling to slow down and be present with my hubby and my two girls even more. Also, honestly, I like having my evenings free to talk to my husband, read a book for fun and heaven forbid, gets lots of sleep! It’s so hard because I love to DO – to accomplish. I have realized that I need to go back to my original goal with my blog and health coaching business – to have a creative outlet while I am home with my kids. It comes second to my kids. Always. Thanks Mandy!
Thank you Betsy! And Happy New Year!
It’s amazing how when you stop trying to force things…they seem to all fall in place anyway. Glad to hear you focusing on your family. So much heart and soul goes into my blog I sometimes find it taking over. It has brought amazing opportunities to me and my family but I have found that there are times when I need to take a step back to focus on family. When I hit the ground running again the blog is still there and I’m able to do that work better than ever…and not at the cost of my family. Good luck, and I can’t wait to read what you do this year!