Every single year I hear my husband say, “I don’t know what to buy you for Christmas?”

I hear my dad say it about my mom.

I hear my friend’s husbands say it about my friend’s.

I hear it from the random stranger in the check out line.

I hear it everywhere I go.

So, for the husbands out their searching for the best smelling perfume or cutest pair of underwear…I’m gonna save your life.  Because the reality is… we ladies don’t need another sparkly necklace or another cool kitchen gadget.

What we really want? Is this…

1. A Date

I should clarify and say a “spouse date” not a “family date”. It’s true, we ladies love our families, but we also crave the one-on-one time with our husbands that is so rare.

I can’t remember the last time I had a conversation or a dinner with my husband without being interrupted by a toddler needing milk or juice. Just thinking about finishing a meal or a conversation without having to get up and fetch something for a child feels blissful.

Take your woman on a date for Pete’s sake.

2. An “Off Duty” Night

I often joke that the best kind of vacation would be one where I could just hang out at home and RELAX without having to do laundry or dishes or cook dinner or bathe children. The reality is that when we are home? Work is never finished.

There is always a room that needs picked up or a pile of laundry calling our name. Give your wife a night off by telling her that she doesn’t have to do

ANYTHING. Be in charge of dinner, dishes, bath time, putting the kids to bed, and throwing in that load of laundry.

Let her RELAX and do NOTHING. Which leads me to #3…

3. A Laundry Fairy

I’m pretty certain if laundry fairies existed I would have three. But atlas, they do not. So the next best thing to getting her a non-existing laundry fairy? Is to BE the laundry fairy.

I know the thought of it sounds like torture (trust me, I know), but promise her that you will take over the laundry for a week. Yes, that includes sorting, washing, drying and putting away the laundry. Taking this one small thing off her plate will decrease her stress levels by a ton.

4. A Massage

While you’re at home slaving away on the laundry, send her to get a massage! Sixty minutes of someone rubbing her back while she listens to calming music can change her mood for weeks. You have no idea.

5. A Compliment

We all love when we hear our husbands say, “You look beautiful!”  or “This baked chicken tastes amazing!” The problem is, we get so caught up in our daily lives that we often forget to pass out compliments.

When my hubby says something nice about me it feels good to know that he cares and appreciates me enough to acknowledge me (or my cooking – which it’s usually not my cooking if I’m being honest). It just feels good to be appreciated and affirmed. I think any wife can agree with that.

Hey husbands – If you’re feeling really frisky, try out our “Giving Praise” challenge and compliment your wife for 22 days straight. #boom

 

6. A Lunch Date With Her Best Friend

As women and mothers we tend to put our own needs last. One thing that easily gets put on the back burner is relationships with her girlfriends.

But to be honest? It’s the one thing that she NEEDS to make a priority. Having genuine conversation with another woman or mother she can relate to is crucial to her sanity. Call her bestie and set up a lunch date or shopping trip where they can have time to chat about their crazy lives.

7. A House Cleaner

Unlike a laundry fairy, a house cleaner is within reach. I realize that not everyone has room in their budget to have a consistent house cleaner. But even hiring someone to come clean ONCE can make a difference.

I joke all the time that the best gift you could ever give me is to find someone to clean these nasty toilets.  So instead of wrapping up that perfume you were thinking of getting her? Ditch it and call a cleaning service to come out and make her bathroom not smell like pee. I promise… she will love it.

8. A Romantic Gesture

After a few years of marriage it’s easy to let the romance fade. Remember when you first met and you cooked her a candle lit dinner? Or when you asked her to slow dance in the living room to her favorite love song just because. She craves that from you.

Just because you no longer have to impress her to win her love doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try.

My husband is really good at romantic gestures so here’s an idea if you need one:  When I was out with my girlfriends (because my hubby also rocks at #6) he made a trail to the bedroom with paper notes and candles on the floor. His notes said – BRING – THAT – HOTT – TUSHY – THIS – WAY. It was sweet and I loved that he made an effort to be romantic.

On a side note, if you have kids, make sure you clean up the notes and candles before they wake up in the morning because what’s not super romantic? When they come running to the bedroom screaming, “Mommy, mommy!!! Someone left notes that say ‘Bring That Hott Tushy This Way’ …but they mispelled Hot. There’s only supposed to be one ‘t’.”

So glad our oldest can now read. And spell. Ahem.  Especially since when our Poppy came by later that day… The first thing out of their mouths? “Daddy left mommy notes that said Bring That Hott Tushy This Way.”

#slightlymortified

 

9. An Uninterrupted Hot Bath

Holy hot bath heaven. Every single time I go to take a bath…a kid joins me. No joke. I’ve even locked them out before and they find ways to get in. Draw your wife a hot bath and be in charge of making sure the kids are occupied. If you don’t have kids then this one should be EASY for you. All you have to do is turn on water.

10. A Shopping Trip To Target

It’s no secret that women love shopping. But shopping at Target is the ultimate kind of shopping. Except here’s the problem? I’m usually in a hurry, shopping for something specific, and have a kid or two with me.  Like this:

Buy her a gift card and tell her to go browse Target for as long as she wants (or until she’s spent the gift card).

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If you are a procrastinator (like my husband) then I just saved you about 90 minutes of waiting in Christmas store lines. #yourwelcome

Merry Christmas!