I quietly snuck off to the bedroom in hopes that my husband wouldn’t notice I had gone missing.
It was night #1 of our daily prayer challenge and I was feeling extremely uncomfortable.
I thought maybe if I just nonchalantly climb into bed and fall asleep?
I can pretend that it was by “accident” and that I really had been patiently waiting for him to come get me so we could pray.
Ironic that I was actually trying to deceive him while we were supposed to be talking to God. I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to start off, but that’s how nervous I was the first time we ever attempted to pray together…out loud.
If you are feeling uncomfortable or awkward about praying WITH your spouse, I wanted to share some things that helped me overcome the fear.
1. Pray Silently
Couples believe that they are only praying together if they are praying out loud. Remember that the key is to intentionally pray together. If you have never ever tried this before then we suggest that you start off by praying together in silence.
We suggest that you either stand or sit facing each other and hold hands. Begin by having a conversation about things that you are struggling with or things that you want to pray about. The conversation doesn’t have to be long or formal, but should be something you try to do before you begin praying in silence.
As you finish up the conversation, one of you can say “Let’s pray about these things.”
Then you will spend time in silent prayer with your eyes closed. Whoever finishes praying first can squeeze the other’s hand as a way of saying “That’s all.”
When the other person finishes, he or she can squeeze back!
2. Write Down Your Prayer
Write out a short a simple prayer to God. I suggest including one thing you are thankful for, one thing you are struggling with and one thing you need wisdom in. You can each do this on your own and then come together and read your prayer out loud to your spouse.
When it’s over you can discuss positive things about the other’s prayer or encourage one another in what they prayed about.
3. Finish Your Prayer Out Loud With Thanks
If you aren’t comfortable writing down your prayer and reading it to your spouse, then you can try by ending your silent prayer out loud. This is actually how we began praying together and is a great way to get you comfortable with becoming more open with each other.
After you have finish praying silently (and squeez each other’s hands) you can begin by expressing your thanks to God for all He is doing in your lives. You can take turns doing this, so one night you can do it and the next night your spouse can do it.
You might say something like…
“Thank you Jesus, for not only listening to our prayers, but for giving us hope that you know what is best for our lives. We pray that you will increase our faith so that we will rely solely on you, God. Help us turn to you in everything that we do. Amen.”
4. Pray Out Loud Together
After you have spent time practicing praying silently together, ending your prayer out loud or writing down and reading a prayer to each other, hopefully you will feel more comfortable praying out loud together.
It might sound frightening at first, but it’s really simple if you put faith in God. All you have to do is verbalize the prayer that you are praying in your head, out loud. Open your mouth and say what you are praying inside.
I was so fearful that my husband would think I sounded stupid or that I didn’t know how to pray. I was even more fearful that I would end up crying or being vulnerable during the prayer.
Remember that you are both probably uncomfortable and no one is judging how you pray.
If you want to hear an example of us praying together, be sure to listen to his podcast:
There is no right or wrong way to talk to God.
It’s simply a conversation between you and Him. You don’t have to use fancy words or recite scripture. All you have to do is open your mouth…and speak to Him.
He is always listening.
I hope that you will take the time to pray WITH your spouse. The spiritual intimacy that comes from praying together is one that will bind you closer together.