I’m an only child. Yes, that means I have no siblings. None. Zero. Zilch.
It’s just me. And that’s it.
My parents were not the kind of people to have just ONE child. My mom would have probably had TEN if God would have allowed. I think God knew my dad may lose his marbles if he had to deal with another “me” so He kept it easy for him.
Did that imply that I was an easy child? If your reading this dad, don’t comment on that.
Ahem.
My parents weren’t suppose to be able to have kids at all (my dad really). The doctors said it was not possible.
But, as God sometimes does, He takes things that are medically NOT possible and He makes them possible. My mom was pregnant on their honeymoon.
Talk about a miracle?!
They often call me their “miracle child”…also sometimes I’m called their “pain in the a**” child or other times the “stubborn” child.
Either way, I think you can see that God can work some magic.
Knowing that backstory, I never really grieved NOT having a sibling. There was just something so comforting in knowing that if my parents would have been able to conceive more children then they would have. It just never happened. God’s plan is sometimes one that is not our own.
With that being said, the older I got the more that I longed to have a sibling. A relationship with a sister or brother. A bond that could not be broken.
I would see my friends and how close they were with their siblings and a part of me longed for that. And then the other part of me was just thankful to be alive. Thankful that God chose me.
Now in my adult life I don’t grieve NOT having a sibling. I have accepted what is. But, I do sometimes grieve the fact that my children will not have aunts or uncles. Did I mention that J is an only child too?
My husband and I will never have a niece or a nephew. We will never be called aunt or uncle. Our children will never have cousins.
These are the things that you DON’T think about when you are sixteen and are enjoying the fact that your parents were able to buy you a brand new car for your birthday because…you guessed it…there’s only ONE they have to buy for.
Perhaps this is why we decided that we needed to create our own BIG family. If our kids would never have cousins to play with, then we needed to give them siblings (or in our case…brothers).
This is also the same reason that we cherish so many of the friendships that we have built throughout the years. Because our friends are not only our friends. They are our siblings.
They are our children’s aunties and uncles.
One of J’s best friends…his brother from another mother…came to visit us this weekend. He’s from L.A. so we don’t get to see him that often. It was actually the first time he got to meet SJ.
I watched my kids just CLING to him. They adore him. They called him “Uncle Steve” without hesitation.
They followed him around all weekend. I think I heard “UNCLE STEVE” about 8 trillion times over the last 4 days. It was music to my ears because I don’t get to hear my kids call ANYONE uncle.
You know what’s even more awesome? The love that he shows BACK to my boys. He treats them like they are his nephews. As if we are family.
You might think that’s silly to recognize or maybe it should be a given from friends? But to be honest, because I am an only child, I don’t know what it’s like to have a connection like that.
I can see how much he loves my boys and it seriously makes my teary. He’s genuine.
You would think that a single guy (kind of a big deal Producer) from Hollywood could care less about our kids, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. He took the time to play with them. To spoil them. To love them. To chase them. To hug them. And you know what?
He meant it.
I loved watching the interaction between my boys and their “uncle”.
I’m so thankful for friendships that fill the void of “siblings”.
I’m so thankful for friends that we call family.
I think it’s great when only children can still have a special person/people. I am also a only child and I have a friend I met when my husband was in the military. I seriously can’t image us not being friends. My kids also refer to her as Aunt Julia. They love her and she loves them..
Mandy,
I have been reading your blog for many years – from before Bents was born and I have never posted. I do log in everyday and check your site, you are my favorite blogger. I have one brother who is older, and my father (who has the same birthday as Bents) has many brothers and sisters, so I have dozens of cousins. My husband has one sister. Both my brother and sister in law will never have children, ironically they cant. So our kids will never have cousins, and I will never be an aunt. It is something that I think about often – as I have many family members.
I wanted to say thank you for blogging – I love your posts. You are such an inspiration, both as a mother and a female. You inspire me in so many ways.
Awwww….such a touching story! I love Uncle Steve too! Not many men show that kind of love and affection “just because”!
GOOD JOB UNCLE STEVE!
i’m sitting her with a box of nilla wafers (that i’ve almost eatent the entire box)reading about uncle steve and crying! i don’t know if my hormones are still all wacky from the baby or if how dang sweet this post was! it’s so awesome to have such great friends!:)
That is just awesome. Awesome that they call him uncle and even more awesome that he returns the love they have for him. I don’t know of many single guys that would be like that.
I am an only child too. I never really had that feeling of needing a sibling because I had those friends that were my sisters. They will be our kids aunts. Right now, they are the cats aunts. Haha! And one of them is allergic to cats. I love those girls and always will no matter what.
Loooooovvveeee this post Mandy!!! I have friends like this too and even though Andrew and I have siblings, we know it will be a LONG time before they even think of having kids so we knew siblings were they way to go as well!! My best friends are aunts and Andrew’s are uncles to our kids and they all love our kids so much- it’s so special!!! Xo
Your post seriously brought tears to my eyes too! You know I always called you our miracle child! … Still do! We were very lucky to have you and you turned out “almost” allright. lol. We love Uncle Steve too. You forgot to say that the irreplaceable and famous “C.G.” that Parker sleeps with and still carries everywhere he goes was given to him by “Uncle Steve”! Sorry no siblings … but we will keep trying!!! I promise … Dad!
what a precious post!!
Michael and I haven’t been blessed with children yet (still working toward our first anniversary) but we have many nieces and a nephew. We were actually blessed with our fourth niece last Wednesday! The funny part about it is how many kids that aren’t our REAL nieces and nephews will call us Aunt Katie and Uncle Michael. My sil’s dear friend has a daughter the same age as Kellan, our oldest niece. She tells people K is her cousin and we’re here aunt and uncle. She even gave me a picture to take to Uncle Michael! My SIL’s BIL (her husband’s bro) has a little boy who calls us aunt and uncle. It makes my heart burst every. single. time!