I’m an only child. Yes, that means I have no siblings. None. Zero. Zilch.
It’s just me. And that’s it.
My parents were not the kind of people to have just ONE child. My mom would have probably had TEN if God would have allowed. I think God knew my dad may lose his marbles if he had to deal with another “me” so He kept it easy for him.
Did that imply that I was an easy child? If your reading this dad, don’t comment on that.
My parents weren’t suppose to be able to have kids at all (my dad really). The doctors said it was not possible.
But, as God sometimes does, He takes things that are medically NOT possible and He makes them possible. My mom was pregnant on their honeymoon.
Talk about a miracle?!
They often call me their “miracle child”…also sometimes I’m called their “pain in the a**” child or other times the “stubborn” child.
Either way, I think you can see that God can work some magic.
Knowing that backstory, I never really grieved NOT having a sibling. There was just something so comforting in knowing that if my parents would have been able to conceive more children then they would have. It just never happened. God’s plan is sometimes one that is not our own.
With that being said, the older I got the more that I longed to have a sibling. A relationship with a sister or brother. A bond that could not be broken.
I would see my friends and how close they were with their siblings and a part of me longed for that. And then the other part of me was just thankful to be alive. Thankful that God chose me.
Now in my adult life I don’t grieve NOT having a sibling. I have accepted what is. But, I do sometimes grieve the fact that my children will not have aunts or uncles. Did I mention that J is an only child too?
My husband and I will never have a niece or a nephew. We will never be called aunt or uncle. Our children will never have cousins.
These are the things that you DON’T think about when you are sixteen and are enjoying the fact that your parents were able to buy you a brand new car for your birthday because…you guessed it…there’s only ONE they have to buy for.
Perhaps this is why we decided that we needed to create our own BIG family. If our kids would never have cousins to play with, then we needed to give them siblings (or in our case…brothers).
This is also the same reason that we cherish so many of the friendships that we have built throughout the years. Because our friends are not only our friends. They are our siblings.
They are our children’s aunties and uncles.
One of J’s best friends…his brother from another mother…came to visit us this weekend. He’s from L.A. so we don’t get to see him that often. It was actually the first time he got to meet SJ.
I watched my kids just CLING to him. They adore him. They called him “Uncle Steve” without hesitation.
You know what’s even more awesome? The love that he shows BACK to my boys. He treats them like they are his nephews. As if we are family.
You might think that’s silly to recognize or maybe it should be a given from friends? But to be honest, because I am an only child, I don’t know what it’s like to have a connection like that.
I can see how much he loves my boys and it seriously makes my teary. He’s genuine.
You would think that a single guy (kind of a big deal Producer) from Hollywood could care less about our kids, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. He took the time to play with them. To spoil them. To love them. To chase them. To hug them. And you know what?
He meant it.
I loved watching the interaction between my boys and their “uncle”.
I’m so thankful for friendships that fill the void of “siblings”.
I’m so thankful for friends that we call family.