I’m probably one of the only chicks on the planet that can say I wish my mother-in-law would pack up her house, her husband and her entire set of cooking skills and move in with us.
And not just say it, but mean it.
And gawwwd do I mean it.
I hear horror stories from women who say that their mother-in-laws are bossy and mean and know-it-alls.
How every time they go to change a diaper or feed their kid…their getting yapped at like, “Wellllll, the correct way to do that is….”
There have been times in the past that she overstepped her boundaries and I DEFINITELY overstepped mine, but 9 years and 3 kids later…her and I have our relationship down to a science. And she’s amazing.
In.Every.Way.
I am so thankful for the way she approaches her time here with us. We usually only get to see her twice a year for 2 week periods.
And by the end of week 2, I’m scheming of ways I can convince her to leave Vegas for Illinois.
*Side note: Did I mention that I love that she likes bright lipstick? 😉
She cooks and cleans and plays and does bath time, bedtime, dinner time, tv time, homework time, annoying-kid-screaming-and-I-don’t-want-to-deal-with-him-so-she-does time.
She does it ALL and then some.
The point of this post is not to make you hate your mother-in-law even worse than you already do. Because I know y’all are out there thinking…“Gawd, I wish my mother-in-law was this good.”
It took us time and effort to be where we are in our relationship. There were times we had to walk on eggshells. Where she almost booked an early flight home because we got in a fight. Where I was not receptive to her help.
But I am here to tell you ladies…. if your MIL wants to help.
LET HER.
Even if it’s not “how you do things”.
LET HER HELP YOU.
It changes everything.
Once I finally had an open mind and stopped being so darn stubborn {story of my life}… I was able to fully appreciate and enjoy everything that she does for me, my husband and our kids.
It’s made a world of difference in my life. I promise you that.
Because EVERY momma needs and deserves a break every once in awhile.
I’m lucky enough that I get lots of mini breaks because my parents {who are also beyond amazing} live close by. But there is nothing like 2 week break from motherhood.
A break where you still get to see your kids and enjoy them, but you don’t have to cook for them or change their diaper or help them with homework or get them apple juice or clean your toilets.
Ohhhhh it’s dreamy ladies. Dreamy.
So…. if you’ve been feeling too stubborn to accept help from the women who gave birth to your husband. It’s time to let your pride go. Trust me on this.
Anddddd now it’s time for me to spend the next week in a deep dark depression because the reality is… she’s never going to agree to move from the warm climate of Nevada to the cold and dreary climate of Illinois. #dangit #realitycheck
What’s your relationship like with your mother-in-law?
I was at my MIL’s for the last month bc I was diagnosed with hyperemisis gravidarum over the holidays…I was too sick to fly home after Christmas, and my inlaws graciously took care of my daughter while i puked and slept for 30 days. Once I was finally in decent enough shape to fly home, she flew back with me and has been living with us for the last 10 days to continue to care for my daughter while I get through this pregnancy. My MIL is a GOD SEND…I tell her all the time she needs to move to WA–and I mean it!
Love reading about your family!!! House of Rose is my favorite blog and I’m slightly bias because I also live close to the St. Louis area. I can completely relate to having an incredibly awesome MIL!!! My MIL was 17 when she become a mother. So fast forward and to being in your early 40’s and your kids are grown and doing their own thing! And I don’t just love my MIL, my FIL is the best too. Me and my husband have not started your family yet, but the MIL can’t wait. She already talks about taking the kids on the weekends! We seriously call them on Friday and Saturday nights to see if the want to grab dinner, go to our local lodge for drinks or have a game night and play cards. We have a 5 year relationship that only gets stronger and I am truly blessed to have such fantastic in-laws! Would not trade them for the world.
What a blessing! My inlaws live 7 minutes from us. Yes, 7!!!! In the 3.5 years of our daughter’s life they have never once offered to watch her so we could have alone time or offered to help when we are sick, having surgery or check on us when my husband is away on business. The only time they spend with us is to meet to go out to eat, which happens once a month if that. 🙁 Would of course be wonderful to have some reprieve, but more than anything I’m sad they don’t have that special relationship with our daughter.
First, LOVE the pics of her standing on the chair–so cute! I love my MIL but we haven’t reached the “please move in” phase yet. Maybe some day! Now MY mom, on the other hand…:)
I was married to my first husband for ten years, and was very close with my mother in law. Closer than with my own mother. After our marriage first ended it was hard, but we got through it. My ex husband became an addict, and I left him for the safety of my children. she knew I had no other choice in the matter, and I cannot tell you what a God send she has always been to me and my children. I could have never been a single mom without her help. She helped me in every single way possible, and my children have always been #1 in her life. I am now remarried and have one other child, and she is just as good to my son as to her own grandchildren, and she treats my new husband like gold and she has told him that she thanks God for him every day that he is in my children’s lives. Now that is one strong woman with a very special place waiting for her in heaven!
My relationship with my MIL was pretty good up until the point my son was born. She changed when I got pregnant and was a completely different person than the woman I’d met previously. The hatchet has since been buried, but the relationship will never be the same. I don’t know how much of her changing actually had to do with me being pregnant and having my son, because I think she has some other stuff going on that she needs to deal with. Currently, she still exhibits a very needy, sensitive, and off putting vibe. She always feels left out (even though she never is) and seems to always feel like she’s forgotten about. I just pray and let God continue to put forgiveness in my heart and strength and clarity into hers.
Ok she is totally adorable!! You are blessed to have a friendship like that with your MIL. I must say that I am a tad jealous;) Susan
I agree with you wholeheartedly! When I learned to let go and just appreciate her, it helped my relationship with my MIL improve in leaps and bounds! She is coming up to watch the Cowkids in March so my hubby and I can go away for a long weekend. I am so thankful and won’t be worrying a bit about what ‘s going on back at the Prairie Homestead. Thanks for sharing, it reminded me again how thankful I am for her!
She is the cutest!!!! gah!! The chair photos?? too much..haha..I love it!
I’m blessed with a loving MIL as well. We don’t have the same relationship as y’all but it is still good. She has even introduced me as her daughter at times and would jump if I called to tell her I need her. She LIVES to be a mother. I think learning your boundaries (and her learning her no doubt) is part of any relationship. Mamas have a hard time letting their little boys grow up 😉
The best thing about your MIL is that she stands on chairs for photos. :-} You are lucky..but you know it so that is very cool- she is lucky to have you too!
Your MIL is seriously ADORABLE! Accepting help and letting go of things being done differently — great advice!
I respect and admire my MIL so much. There are so many qualities that I know my husband got straight from her. She has overcome a lot in her life as well, and sometimes it seems that because she grew up having to fight and struggle for lots of things – that she really lacks confidence. I still struggle with knowing how to make her feel appreciated and admired without it feeling forced.
I will say that while my husband has been deployed, visits to see my in-laws have really strengthened our relationships. Without Chris there to be the buffer, we’re all just forced to be fully ourselves.
And of course watching my in-laws love on our son…the best thing ever!
that photo of her on chair just made my day! what a cool mom or mil she is!
love love it, anyway i have a good relationship with my mil, she used to live with us until my oldest turned 3 then she moved to her daughter in another city but girl just like you i am grateful for mil’s or moms that are really there to give us a break, in my case a 3-year break ? lol!!
huggies?
rea
I’ve always wished that I had known my mother in law. She passed away at a young age. My husband has always told me I’d love her. Your so very lucky to have such a helping mother-in-law !!!!!
Oh man…I really wish I could get to this point with my mother in law. I fully relate to the stubborness and resistance to accept her help. That is where I am at right now. Maybe it will get easier once my son is older?? He is only 10 months now. Currently, our relationship does well with strong boundaries. I feel like she is constantly pushing the boundaries, and I have a hard time accepting those pushes or trusting her. I have been working on accepting her for who she is and accepting I cannot change her. This gives me hope… but I am still too scared to try it just yet!