I will be sharing some posts on our adoption that I have been writing over the past 6 months. This post was written on March 7, 2012.
We had our first class of adoption training today {March 7, 2012}. It wasn’t really a class…it was more like a meeting since there were only 3 of us there…me, J, and the adoption counselor.
We are required to have 12 hours of in-home training for our home study plus 2 additional hours of online training.
Speaking of home study we learned today that we should finish it up within the next 3-4 months at the most. I didn’t even know what home study meant until recently, but it is basically a written book of your entire life. It is something that your adoption agency will use to send to the country you are adopting from to help place you with a child.
And when I say it’s a written book of your life…I mean they want to know everything about every member of your family…including how many freckles you have on your face.
Ok, maybe not that detailed, but pretty darn close.
So far for the beginning stages of the home study we had to turn in:
- Up-to-date physicals on everyone in the family, including TB & HIV tests for my husband and I
- The initial adoption application, which was roughly 4 pages of personal information and questions
- 5 references
- Fingerprints (adults only)
- Information on residency in any state, other than IL, in the past 5 years
- Floor plan of our home (with room measurements)
- Proof of adequate income (tax return)
- Copy of birth certificates for each member of the family
- Copy of marriage license
- Copy of pet inoculations
- Copy of driver’s license and insurance card
- Copy of medical insurance card/policy
Not bad so far. Ha!
From what I have been told this is JUST the beginning of the paperwork saga though. Did I mention that the agency that is doing our home study is not the actual adoption agency?
Oh yea.
Since our actual adoption agency is out of state, we are required to have an in-state agency do our home study. It seems so confusing.
And really…it is. I think it took me a good 4 weeks to fully understand the difference.
Lutheran Social Services is the company that is doing our Illinois home study and Hope Adoption Agency in Minnesota is the actual adoption agency that will work with the international country to help place us with a child.
Clear as mud?
Psssst.
Anyway, both companies have their OWN set of paperwork, their OWN set of applications, and {even better} their OWN set of fees. 🙂
We haven’t even applied to the actual adoption agency yet or filled out the application. Right now I am just working on trying to get our home study completed with Lutheran Social Services because we can not technically send an application to adopt ANY child until a home study is done.
Back to our training. The first set of training was a 3 hour session. Not to mention we also had to write our first BIG check today. The initial application with LSSI (Lutheran Social Services) was only $250. But, the actual home study fee was due today and I wrote a check for $2,250.
This is real.
As in…we REALLY will be adding to this chaos.
At least that’s what writing a check that big said to me.
Some of the things we went over in the first training had to do with “expectations of adoption”. When adopting internationally, no matter which country, you will be getting a child that in some shape or form has been traumatized. Whether it be that the child was abused or neglected…they will have some form of trauma that they have dealt with in their life. Even a 1-2 year old.
It’s important to realize that our future child will be grieving the loss of their “old” life. Even though we know that we will be able to provide this child with a much better life than living in an orphanage or foster care, it is still important to remember that we will be pulling this child from everything that is familiar to them.
Can you imagine being an infant or a toddler and being placed with 2 unfamiliar people that you have never seen before? Not to mention that this child will have to LEAVE the country they live in with these 2 unfamiliar people. I can not imagine how scary that would be for a child. It’s probably the one thing about the adoption process that scares me the most.
Will this child bond with me? Will they accept us as parents? Will they adjust to life in a new country with a family that doesn’t even speak the same language? Will they scream bloody murder when we take them from the arms of the orphanage workers?
It will break my heart.
But one thing I am certain of, God is leading us down this path for a reason. He’s creating his own story for our lives and although it’s not exactly how I thought our story would be written, it’s the way He sees fit and I’m ready to continue down His path even if it means I’ll be out of my comfort zone as a parent.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Wow Mandy!! I have learned so much already through your posts on how trying this whole process could be! I’m praying that things go as smoothly as possible for you all! Xoxo
I can’t remember where I heard this analogy from, but when you said:
“It’s important to realize that our future child will be grieving the loss of their “old” life. Even though we know that we will be able to provide this child with a much better life than living in an orphanage or foster care, it is still important to remember that we will be pulling this child from everything that is familiar to them.”
It PERFECTLY describes Christ’s adoption of us. We think our old life is good, comfortable. Jesus is pulling us by the hand saying NO, this is not good, I have what it good. Once you experience His love, there’s no turning back!
What a beautiful display of God’s love for us! Praying for your sweet family.
I guess I never stopped to think about how scary this all really is…for you guys AND the child you are getting. But both your hearts are in it 100% and that is all that matters. EVERYTHING is scary in the beginning. Even having our own children was scary in the beginning. But slowly, everyone figures it out and you guys will too. How exciting that you guys are already so far into the process!!!!! Time is going to fly!
With God everything fits together like a perfect puzzle. My parents started the adoption process from China while I was in high school. It took 18 months before we were able to get my little sister Destiney. I was fortunate enough to go through the whole proceeds including when we went to China. It’s amazing how God works. While all the other little girls cried, even screamed once wih their new families; Destiney immediately bonded.
I understand all the pointed, many times ignorant questions people ask. The love for my two sisters, one biological, one adopted is the same.
I am so thankful that my parents listened to God. Because if they hadn’t I would be missing a huge part of my heart and my life for the past 8 years.
All that to say, enjoy this journey and be encouraged from one sister in Christ to another! <3
Hi there,
Just wanted to let you know that I found your blog today while browsing Pinterest (you’re totally right it’s completely evil- but at the same time completely amazing)… Just wanted to drop a note and say how much I’ve enjoyed looking through your posts. Your home is beautiful (we share similar taste in decorating) and your boys are adorable! Also wanted to wish you luck as you go through the adoption process. One of my dear friends is also going through international adoption (check out her blog and their crazy journey: http://www.youremylastfrenchfry.blogspot.com/). Thank you also for being open and honest about your faith and beliefs. Its such an encouragement seeing other believers living normal lives and not hiding their love for Jesus with the blog world, because sometimes it seems easier to just not include that stuff to not “step on anyone’s toes”.
Thank you so much for the comment! I am so glad you stumbled upon my blog. I have just spent the last 15 minutes reading your friends adoption journey! Wow, what a wonderful story! Thank you for connecting me with her site!
I just recently found your blog and I stayed up late the other night reading all about your beautiful family and well-decorated home. I love your ideas! I came across your adoption tab and I’m so excited to read along. We have two little girls, age 6 & 7 and we are currently in the process of adopting a baby boy from California. We have done just about everything so far and have just our homestudy to finish now. We are hoping to be wrapped by fall. It’s so exciting and nerve-racking all at the same time! I look forward to reading more about your adoption. 🙂
Hi Sharon! Thanks so much for commenting and I am happy to connect with other families who are also adopting!! Do you have a blog? I tried to click on your fb profile, but it didn’t work! Would love to follow your journey!
No blog yet but you are inspiring! I feel like I should have started to blog before we even scheduled our adoption orientation. I blogged while I was pregnant with my girls… and this is basically the same thing. 😉 hehe Oh the waiting! I want to be able to share how I feel the moment I get that special call… and always be able to go back and read and relive!!! I may just have to start a blog now! Thanks. 😉 I just joined pinterest – I just couldn’t hold off any longer. Between the two… I will be very busy! Can’t wait to read your next adoption update!
Mandy,
Like so many other women, I stumbled upon your blog from Pinterest. I absolutely LOVED your home! Feel free to fly to Texas anytime to help me decorate…with ALL of your boys! My hubby comes from a family of 5 brothers, and we now have 2 nephews, so we are definitely used to crazy boys:)
When I saw your adoption tab, my heart fluttered! My husband and I got married this past October and God recently laid on my heart to adopt. I’ve always wanted to be a mom (what girl doesn’t?!), but never really thought about adoption. Not that I thought it wasn’t for us, it just never really crossed my mind. And while reading another blog and seeing what God did in their family though adoption, I felt Him pierce my heart saying that we needed to adopt a sweet child.
Now, we are not ready yet to have kids, but every day I feel like God places little things in my path to remind me what He is preparing to do in our lives. I am beyond excited to start our adoption process, just in due time. So, for now, I’m just trying to educate myself and find out how the adoption world works.
I absolutely love reading your story and will continue to follow it. Know that my husband and I will be praying for you, your husband and sweet boys. And not just the polite, “Christian” I’ll be praying; a genuine, honest prayer through this journey. (:
-Jaime
Hi Jamie! Thank you so much for your prayers! I am glad that you found me through Pinterest! I hope that you continue to follow our adoption and if you have any questions please feel free to ask!! XOXO
Hi Mandy, I stumbled upon your blog via Pinterest because I loved the pics of your home! But I was pleasantly surprised to see that we are sisters in Christ! I also am a mom of 2 crazy little boys and my husband and I have been talking about adopting as well. You are touching many people through your blog, and I pray that God continues to guide your little growing family as you enter this new season in making a home for a precious little new one! Much love to you!
Thank you so much! I appreciate the words of encouragement and the prayers!