The further along we get in this adoption process the more anxious that I become.
The other day I got on facebook and I saw a friend of ours {who began the adoption process mere weeks before us} posted that they had their referral {child}! My heart was so happy for her and her family! I literally got the chills just looking at the picture of their soon-to-be little boy.
I couldn’t help but be a little jealous though. Not bad jealous…just jealous because I wish we were that close to getting our referral. That close to being able to wrap our arms around our newest sweet child.
It seems like the road blocks that we have had in our adoption process have been constant. One thing after another. But I continue to have faith that His plan is the perfect one.
Just this week I got a letter in the mail from immigration. In case you didn’t know, we have been waiting on immigration to approve us for well over a month. Probably closer to two months.
As soon as I looked at the return address I just knew it was going to be our approval letter. Unfortunately I was wrong.
It was a letter from immigration, but no approval. They were just requesting ADDITIONAL information from us. More birth certificates, marriage license, and a letter stating that our adoption agency was “Hague accredited”.
Luckily those are all items that I was able to get my hands on pretty quickly and send off. And now we are back to the waiting game. We REALLY REALLY need to get this approval letter so we can move on in this process.
I’m not just saying we “need” to because I want it to happen now. We “need” to because there have been MORE changes to the Philippines adoption program by their government.
I am not sure if I ever told you this or not, but the Philippines currently has a moratorium on adoptions from the U.S. for families that are trying to adopt a 0-2 year old healthy child.
When I originally began searching for an adoption agency I kept being told, “No.” Over and over again. Agency after agency kept telling me no because of the moratorium.
This below is taken directly from the ICAB {Philippines} website.
But, because I am persistent {and was unwilling to take “no” for an answer} I kept calling. I called as many agencies as I could until finally someone told me “yes”.
What I learned when I got a hold of Hope Adoption Services in Minnesota {our current adoption agency} is that the moratorium applied was for all the bigger agencies. Some of the smaller agencies in the U.S. were still allowed to send ten applications per year. Yes, only ten.
Lucky for us, Hope Adoption was one of those smaller agencies and they were able to take us on!
Fast forward 10 months…where we are literally weeks (if not days) away from being able to send our Dossier to the Philippines…and I get a call from Leah. Leah is our adoption coordinator with Hope.
The conversation started something like this….
Leah: I need to update you on some changes that the Philippines program just came out with. Don’t freak out because it’s not going to affect you.
The second she said “dont’ freak out”? I started freaking out.
She went on to explain that the moratorium that has been in place since 2009 was not helping speed up the wait time {like ICAB had hoped} and they just put ANOTHER moratorium in place that will take effect January 1, 2013. Absolutely no more apps can be sent starting 2013 {for the category I mentioned above}. No more. Zero. Like….forget it.
The good news? Our agency was still allowed to send four more this year before the new moratorium takes effect.
Guess what? We are the FOURTH family. AHHHHHH!
Talk about a close call. PHEWWWWW!
But we must get our Dossier sent over THIS year. MUST.
And we can’t send it over until immigration so kindly gives us approval. I think we should be fine, but dear Lordy, I am one big stress mess.
In adoption things are constantly changing. I keep thinking, “What if ICAB comes back and only allows Hope to send 3 more apps. What if our documents get lost by immigration and it takes way longer than normal to get approved and we can’t get it sent by December 31, 2012. What if. What if. What if.”
Then I try to stop myself and remember….I am not in control. Someone else is and He knows the right plan way before any of us.
Two nights ago when I went to bed I prayed that God would make this possible. That He would speed up the process and make sure our Dossier got sent before it’s too late.
But tonight I have a different feeling. Tonight I am praying that God would continue to unfold His plan for us. Let the chips fall where they may. I am willing to follow.
And while I am still confident that this is the right path and that the Philippines is the country our child will be from…I am recognizing that I just need to trust Him.
Have you ever ask God to do things for you that YOU want to happen? Have you ever pleaded with Him, bribed Him, or even manipulated your prayers so that God would follow YOUR path?
I find myself guilty of doing it all the time.
“God, if you do this one thing for me I promise I will never ask you to do another thing.”
Instead, I should be praying that I trust in Him and His plan for our family and whatever that may look like…it’s the path I want to take.
*Don’t forget that tomorrow is Stop & Smell the Roses!
Oh my goodness, I’ll be praying for you! I have not been through the adoption process, but I know I would be a hot mess waiting for that letter. And YES! I catch myself praying for very specific outcomes lots of times and have to take a breath and change my outlook. I remind myself of all the things I prayed for and thankfully didn’t get, or the things I never knew I wanted until God gave them to me. Best wishes for you and your family.
So true! I can not even begin to think of how many times I have prayed for things that have not happened, but now look back and say “thank you” Lord! Just proves that He knows best! 🙂
I think you are doing such a wonderful thing! Adoption,from what friends have told me, is a long and grueling process….but so worth it!! And I completely admire your attitude toward everything. You are so right about trusting God’s will. He has a plan for all of us. Sometimes it’s hard to accept his plan, on his timeline…but if we have faith, he will never let us down. I hope that immigration gets back to you soon,and things go smoothly for you!
I know, you are so right, it is so hard to let go of the “control”. I feel like I am getting better at it through this adoption process, but it’s still so hard! Thanks for your encouragement!
Mandy,
When we were in the process of our adoption, our first set of paperwork to Immigration were lost and all had to be resubmitted. We were on the verge of other paperwork expiring…anyways, long story short…you are able to call Immigration and speak to your caseworker and to check on the status. I have an email address to the MOST WONDERFUL caseworker if you would want her email address. If anything else, maybe she can give you your caseworker’s name and such! Just email me if you would like it! ddugic@neo.rr.com
We also had many “bumps” in the road…when your child is placed in your arms…you will know exactly why the bumps occurred…cause God knew all along which child was to be yours!!!!
Dawn
Hi Dawn! I loved the info you gave me…but even better news…we got our approval letter today so guess I won’t need to call! AHHH!
YAY!! So happy for your family!
I know how you feel. We’re pursuing an Eastern European adoption and getting the dossier together was a BEAR. Waiting on immigration, waiting on the FBI, do you have your marriage certificate, homestudy, etc, etc. Good luck to you as you continue through the process! I’ll pray that 2012 ends with your application firmly in the country’s hands. 🙂
Thank you! Good luck to you as well!
What a roller coaster! I will be praying that everything works our for your family with this adoption. My personal opinion is that it’s no accident that you guys are the 4th and final family that this agency can send out the paperwork for an adoption in the Philippines 🙂
I’m curious why you guys want a child from the Philippines, especially considering the moratorium and all of the hoops you have to jump through. Is it just that you feel that is where God wants you to adopt from? I think adoption is great regardless of where the child comes from, I’m just not familiar with the process and why people choose the countries they do for international adoption.
I’ve definitely prayed and asked God for things I wanted to happen. I’m working on that, but it’s definitely hard to give up control and trust.
Thank you Melissa! We chose the Philippines because my husband (and children) are part Filipino. My mother-in-law was born and raised there. When we felt like God was calling us to adopt we immediately felt like it was the Philippines. I think it will be wonderful to be able to bring some culture and heritage in to our children’s lives…and hopefully we can eventually take our children back one day to visit! I always appreciate your comments and your encouragement! Thank you again!
I didn’t know that about your husband or boys. I think that’s awesome and I love that you’re bringing in some more of that heritage into your family. I wish you all the best 🙂
Mandy,
I have never gone through this process so I can only imagine what you are going through. I do know that we have an awesome God. Our God knows His plan for your family and this is all in his time. Not your time, and certainly not any governments time. Will continue praying for you all as you go this process. Praying that God’s plan will be revealed to you and that you both have peace no matter what happens. Praying that His will be done. I have no doubt that that this adoption will happen. No doubt.
Thanks for your prayers!!!
You are speaking to me today! I’ve totally done the pleading and the barganing. Luckily for me and my faith God blew me away with his plan and I will forever be totally ok with whatever else he has got planned. Hopefully the same will be true for you!
Thanks for the encouragement in this. Sometimes it is so hard to give up control, but I know that life is so much easier when I do!
Hi Mandy…I am a new(ish) reader and love when you post updates on your adoption because we are a family who is also adopting internationally! We are on the wait list to adopt a toddler from Ghana.
We have worked with USCIS a couple of different times and have found, for the most part, that they really do want to help you bring home your child. My advice would be to give them a couple of weeks after you have sent in the extra information that they requested. I bet your approval will arrive pretty quickly since they have obviously looked over all of your information and identified the only missing pieces left to grant approval. If you still don’t have USCIS approval in a couple weeks, try giving them a call and ask to speak to your officer. Explain your situation to them and I bet you will get it in no time. My officer was always very understanding. I hope to hear good news soon! I will pray for your family! 🙂
I just checked out your blog! Glad to connect with another family that is adopting! Thanks for stopping by!
Wow, I never knew the adoption process can be so drawn out! I’m sorry you have to be put through all this. But, like you said everything WILL work out the way it is suppose to. Good luck!!
I keep trying to remember that there is a method to the madness! Haha!
You are so inspiring Mandy. You know that I never, ever stop praying for you guys and your adoption. Keep the faith! You are AMAZING.
Lots of love!! XO!!
Thank you Kenz! Love ya girlie!
I am literally sitting here praying for an offer we put on a house to go through… in the middle of my prayers, I stopped and changed my path to praying that God’s will be done.
If he wants this offer to go through, please guide us in that direction, if this is not the one for us, please give me the peace and understanding to know that it is not HIS will.
Thanks for the reminder that this is all for HIM!!
We prayed for over 5 years for a child and now we have a 9 day old precious little girl!