I keep coming across post after post from women who are talking about how Pinterest makes them feel “inadequate” or “less than perfect” or like a “terrible mother”.
It really got me thinking.
Thinking about what does that really mean.
And thinking about how I felt about Pinterest.
I think it’s natural for us to feel “never good enough”. I know that there are many aspects of my life where I feel not good enough. Maybe it’s because I’m always striving to be better.
A better mother. A better wife. A better daughter. A better Christian. A better friend. A better blogger.
Better, better, better.
Or maybe it’s because I know that there are always gonna be people out there who ARE better than me. Moms with more patience. Wives with more understanding. Daughters with more love to give. Christians with less sin. Friends with better ears to listen. Bloggers with more followers.
It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others and to feel like we will never live up. I think it’s safe to say that it is something we all do.
Remember when I almost cried because I had to give up my Mercedes to drive the mini? I was so caught up in this image of wanting to drive a nice car.
Of wanting to “look” a certain way.
I remember the day that I brought home my mini-van and I literally felt sick. But you know what I quickly realized? My identity was not in my Mercedes. And as “cool” as I thought I was driving it…I suddenly felt cooler in the mini.
God changed my heart. He made me realize that the car I drive says nothing about the person that I am. That my identity is not in a vehicle, but that my identity is in Him.
I must say that, for me, Pinterest has {in the past} made me feel unworthy. I’ve definitely seen something on Pinterest and thought, “Wow, I could never do something that fantastic.” Or “I am so less of a mom because I don’t do all those creative activities with my kids.” Or “I must be the worst wife on the planet because I can’t cook anything that looks that fancy.”
But you know what else I realized? Pinterest has also inspired me to follow my love for decorating and diy. I never knew I had such a passion for home decor. I have found that by being on Pinterest I have let my creativity flow to it’s fullest.
I am ABSOLUTELY not disagreeing that I can see how Pinterest can make you feel like less of a person. I’ve been there.
It’s so easy to look at projects on Pinterest and think, “How can I top that?” Especially when it comes to holiday teacher gifts or Valentine’s Day Cards. Oh, Valentine’s Day cards…you will be the death of me. I failed miserably this year when I sent all 3 of my children to school/daycare with the plain-o spiderman cards that you buy at Wal-mart. No candy. No crafty sayings. No nothing.
I, for a moment, let myself almost go down the path of “not good enough”. I almost tried to stay up till midnight the night before Valentine’s Day just so that my kids wouldn’t be the only ones without some fabulous Pinterest inspired Valentine’s Day cards.
But I didn’t. In that moment I stopped letting what others were doing say anything about ME and my worth.
I don’t want you to ever read this blog and think I am trying to portray someone who is perfect. I am flawed. And 9 times out of 10 my house does not look like the pictures that I post. I am real. I am imperfect. And I believe in grace.
In my mind there is ONE huge reason why we continue to tell ourselves we are not good enough.
1. Expectations
Would you ever feel not good enough if you didn’t have expectations? If I started a DIY project without expectations then I couldn’t start to wonder if it was going to look good or if you were going to like it because that would be an expectation, right?
In life you expect something to happen….and if it doesn’t happen? You quickly turn on the “not good enough” switch.
Do y’all know how many DIY projects I have failed at? TONS!
You should see the wreaths I have in my basement closet that will NEVER {and I do mean NEVER} make a door appearance. I definitely wasn’t born with wreath making abilities.
A way for me to transcend my expectations is to focus on Him and the things I am good at.
God may not have given me the ability to decorate a circle made of branches, but he gave me other wonderful qualities that do say “I’m good enough.” If I focus on the “good enough” qualities then it’s easy for me to laugh it off when I completely fail at trying to do a DIY Wreath project.
Because those DIY Wreath projects I see on Pinterest that look like they are out of a magazine…say nothing about me and my self-worth.
In the same breathe, I think it’s important to remember that our identity is not in any project we can create or home we can decorate. It’s not about how well we are organized or how fantastic our gallery wall is.
It’s not dependent on how clean we keep our home or how dirty we keep our mini. It’s not about how creative we are with our holiday party projects. None of those things mean anything if we aren’t somehow glorifying God. I, too, have to remind myself of that on a daily basis and sometimes I think I’m failing.
Instead of waking up thinking, “What fun project can I create today?” I need to wake up saying, “How can I glorify God in my actions today?”
Because none of my abilities {or lack there of} are my own. They are His. And I am nothing without Him.
Do you have that inner voice in your head telling you that you are unworthy if you don’t live up to a, b, and c? Stop being silly and STOP seeing other people’s abilities or skills as being directly linked to YOUR self worth.
Start seeing that your self worth is in Jesus. That just because there are 8 gazillion mothers on Pinterest that seem to be perfect…it says nothing about how imperfect you are.
Stop asking yourself the question…
“Am I really ever good enough?”
[ois skin=”Home Tour 2″]
I love this post! Well said!!!
Thank you Jenny!
wow Mandy you really said it! & I needed to hear that today.. I seriously have been feeling so lost and intimidated lately.. this is helpful. It’s awesome to hear someone else voice what everyone else is thinking. Thank you for this post… xx Liz Marie
Thank you Liz! It’s so easy (especially in our world of diy/home decor) to never be good enough! But this is something I have prayed about and prayed about…and FINALLY God is showing me that it doesn’t matter what I do as long as I am glorifying Him!
Beautiful post! Great stuff and wonderful reminder. God’s grace is sufficient! Yay God!! 🙂
Thanks Nancy! I love how you said “Yay God!” Totally stealing that! 😉
I hear this a lot, too and I have actually had a lot of friends stop visiting Pinterest just because it makes them feel inadequate. Or, they feel they look at it and never do anything on it and it is just another time sucker. I love this post, it is so honest. We shouldn’t compare ourselves to other Moms, we should have confidence in ourselves and what God really put us here for.
So true! I have to remind myself of that all of the time! Especially when I do something right or good…I always want to take credit instead of giving credit to HIM! Which is what I should be doing!
Thank you for writing this! I feel like this quite often and always struggle with if I am doing enough. I went to a funeral this past weekend and they spoke about what kind of mom she was, it just made me really stop and think what my kids would say when I am gone. Thanks for making me feel like I am not alone in this adventure of motherhood 🙂
Glad to know I am not alone either! 😉 Thanks for the encouragement!
Awesome post Mandy! 🙂
~Sarah
Thank you Sarah!
Thanks for writing this Mandy! This is why I read your blog. You are so down to earth. As a mom of four, I frequently feel not good enough. I try to remind myself, that if I’m doing my best then that is good enough. Because of your blog I wanted to start my own blog. But, I wouldnt even start for a while because I kept comparing myself to everyones’ blogs. Now that I have finally gotten over this “not good enough” phase, i have finally started blogging. Yes i’m very new and learning, but I love that I have an outlet for my creativity and thoughts. This is becoming more of a stress relieving activity for me! (which i need desparately in my life as a mom offour who still works night shifts as a nurse). It is amazing what you can accomplish once you stop worrying about everyone else!
Collette!!! HI! I am so inspired that you are a mom of four, working as a nurse, and went for it and started your blog!! Congratulations!! That is awesome! I agree, writing is such a stress outlet and sometimes it makes a long day of tantrums and food fights all worth it. Haha!
Great post! Certainly feel the same way, shared my thoughts a few weeks ago… http://www.lovefromtheoven.com/2013/01/21/away-from-the-oven-keeping-up-with-mama-jones-and-her-picture-perfect-pinterest-boards/
Loved your version! Thanks for leaving me the link! I really enjoyed reading that!
Thank you for this inspiring post! Thank you for speaking from your heart, and reminding us all that it is through God that all things are possible and it is in Him that we find our worth, our meaning, our life… Not pintrest, a pretty outfit, decorating, or DIY project (although fun and entertaining 😉 Our world needs more people who are willing to testify out loud God’s goodness and grace! Awesome!!
Amen! 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement in sharing my faith!
Thank you so much for this post. SO needed it as I prepare to turn in my leased beloved BMW for a cheaper car that I can pay off quickly in order to become debt free. I think you’re beyond right about Pinterest and blogs setting such high standards for moms and it, in turn, making you feel like your not good enough. Saving this post for when I need a pick me up. 🙂
Wow. That was so beautiful, Mandy. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and especially for sharing that the reason behind it all is JESUS! I already loved your blog, but now I love it even more! Happy Monday!
~Abby =)
I continue to be amazed at your faith and boldness, Mandy! You inspire me daily!
I love what you said here… “Instead of waking up thinking, “What fun project can I create today?” I need to wake up saying, “How can I glorify God in my actions today?” That could not be more true and I couldn’t have said it better myself!
Proud to know you! xoxo!
Amen and amen! Love this post. And love that you are sharing your faith with others so boldly. It’s so refreshing! We are all doing the best we can and we should be showing each other the love and grace He has shown us. Blessings to you and your adorable crew.
Mandy, I feel like this SOOO much. Thank you for sharing and encouraging. One of the things that I am focusing on this year is giving myself grace in the things that make me feel like I’m not good enough. I give myself grace when the things I think need to happen perfectly don’t, but my kids have fun. The point is to live our lives in a way that is glorifying to God, doing OUR very best. Whatever that looks like. Thank you again for sharing and giving us encouragement, it is truly appreciated!
I read a lot of blogs. Not to be mean, but I laugh at a lot of blogs. Pinterest, I think it is like a magazine online. The only difference is, the projects are repeated 100 times over. Please don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to put either one down. I personally don’t like pinterest. It does nothing for me. I do however, love reading blogs. The thing that I find funny is when you click on a blog link up party, everyone is doing the same thing…from pinterest. It has become a little robotic, if you will.
I bet your boys loved those valentine cards you sent them to school with. I also bet they weren’t thinking about pinterest. They were thinking about the party they were going to have at school and how awesome their mom was to buy the cards for them.
I live for organizing. Do I have some favorite blogs I read about that topic. Yep, I sure do. But, after reading those blogs for so long, you start to see the same thing over and over. There really are only so many ways you can organize. Trust me. I have done them all.
I use the talent that God gave me to organize my home and I also help people organize theirs. I think the best post I have read in a long time just came from your blog Mandy. I love when you said, “It’s not dependent on how clean we keep our home or how dirty we keep our mini. It’s not about how creative we are with our holiday party projects. None of those things mean anything if we aren’t somehow glorifying God. I, too, have to remind myself of that on a daily basis and sometimes I think I’m failing.”
God has gifted each and everyone of us with some kind of talent. Wishing we could do something someone else has done instead of giving Him the Glory for the talents he has given us, is sinful. I think your worth should come from your husband and your beautiful son’s. Not some Anne Slone painted piece of wood. Hobbies are fun, but when you take it to a level that starts to mess with your self worth. Well, that is just weird!
You are a good mom, and I give you so much credit for posting this today.
Have a great week,
Cathy
Thanks for this message, I was feeling discouraged yesterday when this song (“You Are More” by Tenth Avenue, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhDrzTQ5rn0) came on the radio. The song and your words have lifted my spirits. Hope you have a good day!
That was great Mandy! I am pretty sure that I tell myself almost daily that I am not good enough!!! This is exactly what I needed to read at 4:15 am because I can sleep thinking if all the things “I need to do”!
You nailed it! I actually blogged the other night on almost the same topic! I keep hearing so many of the same comments on not feeling adequate. I think we need to keep talking about this…over and over and over again. Everyday is such a challenge for any mom, wife, friend, Christian, daughter, and friend…we need to have these gentle reminders that He will always fill our inadequacies. Thank you for your rawness!
Amen! Love this.
Well said, friend. Well said. Its important for women to guard their hearts in social media. Not because social media is at fault, but because we’re human and its easy to get caught up in the numbers game. I’m thankful for reminders like your post, its a great reminder to find our value in Him. Loved this!
That was awesome! Thanks for uplifting words today!
love..love..love this post Mandy 🙂
Thank you so much for writing this! A lot of people needed to “hear” this message, myself included! Keep doing what you do, you are such an inspiration!
I just discovered your blog and I’ve enjoyed reading your posts. This was an awesome pick me up. As a mom to 5 kiddos, I have felt that I wasn’t good enough too many times to count. Thanks tons & it’s great to “meet” you! 🙂
My favorite take away from this post is the “How can I glorify God in my actions today?” question.
This is such a wonderful daily reminder. I don’t think that I am the only one who thinks about whether or not I am living out God’s will or mine (as well as getting my brain going with all of the thoughts that you mentioned above) and asking myself this question every day will surely put me right there in the middle of it.
Thank you. 🙂
Well said, I myself am always thinking of how can I be a better mom, or a better wife how can I do all those cool DIY projects that I see and I torment myself. But at the end of the day my kids are just as happy if I make them a plain piece of paper with a heart to take to school with their name on it than if I make them a fancy DIY project that I spend all night doing just because I saw another mom make it. Great blog Mandy love it!!
I love the modern world we live in, with social media always coming up with something new, but all this constant sharing can be difficult to handle from time to time. Because what is it that we share? ugly pictures of burnt food, or facebook updates on how big failures we might feel like sometimes? No. We share this sense of happiness, that might not always be true. we share happy, pretty, sometimes superficial things, but how much truth is it in this constant happiness sharing? i would love to live in a world where it`s ok to post about you difficulties in life on facebook, and have people cheering you on, or helping you, instead of only “likes”.
What a great post and very true about Pinterest! It’s funny I only started not feeling good enough when my little one was born two and half years ago. In my eyes, no one would ever be good enough for her because I think she is about the best thing I’ve ever known! I just do my best and I try to stay confident that it will be enough for her :o)
Ahhh, thank you Mandy. I’ve been a reader for a few years now. I needed to read this today! I think I’ve been a little overwhelmed with a 8 month old, a full time job as a nurse, trying to decorate the house we built, meal-planning, exercising, keeping the house clean and organized, trying to keep up on my blog… I could go on and on. Each week I feel like I’m neglecting one or more of these areas and it’s driving me mad. You are right, Pinterest does not help. I guess I never realized that it makes me feel inadequate some days. I need to just take a step back and take everything one day at a time! Thanks again for putting into words what I’ve been feeling; Christi said it well also!
Mandy, this is beautiful. So true and we can all learn a lot from this post! Thank you!
I really enjoy your blog, Mandy 🙂
I’m not a blogger, but I do enjoy reading blogs. Lately, it’s just exhausting. I’ve stopped reading some blogs because they are DIY overload. They don’t really make me feel less of a wife/mom, it’s more that I don’t feel like it’s real life. I don’t live in Pinterestville – I can’t afford to buy all the pretty Polyvore outfits I see, organize every square inch of my house, take the perfect pictures of my kids. I’ve made a conscious effort to read less and stop comparing my life to everything I see online. My favorite blogs offer balance. If it’s DIY overload or perfection in every corner…I’m out! haha but I really enjoy your blog 🙂 thanks!
My oldest just turned 18, getting ready to graduate high school. I have learned so much in from his experiences in school and life. When I send my 9yr old and my 4yr old to school with their store bought cards, I know that they don’t care what the cards look like, they only care that they are giving them to their friends and getting some in return. I always try to be thankful for what I do have. To the biggest, fanciest house, but a loving home. Not a sporty, flashy car, but a reliable one. To a million dollars in the bank, but we live comfortably. I appreciate the small things. In these times, we all should be focusing on what is good in our lives, not how we can look, act, sound better than our neighbor. Thank you Mandy for trying to put our focus on that.
I wish more people thought like you Lisa. I am blessed in so many ways. I thank God every day that I have what I do. Before my 17 year old son passed away from cancer , he always told me, “Mom, don’t sweat the small stuff!!” It really doesn’t matter how much money you have or how much money one brings in monthly or yearly. What is important, is that you, your husband and your children are healthy and happy. You can have all the money in the world. trust me…It won’t buy health and happiness. I know that first hand.
I love this post, it’s so very true. I find myself so often trying to have the perfect house and make sure it looks like I am a full time stay at home wife, but im not. It’s a good reminder to keep working hard to better each part of my life but to put the importance on glorifying God FIRST in everything I do.
you said it all 🙂
I hope you don’t mind…I loved your article so much I listed it as one of my favs on my blog here: http://justagirlandherblog.com/exciting-news-and-this-weeks-favs/ ! Have a great weekend!
~Abby =)
Love this – I inactivated FB for the time being so I don’t catch all of your posts 🙁
Miss them. Keep making a difference 🙂
Amy
Miss you Amy Dinga! I saw Bob yesterday at Logan and I was thinking we should all hang out soon! Thanks for your support!
Thank you so much for this post, I’m just starting a new blog and I’m already comparing myself with successful blogger who have been blogging for years, and of course by doing that I only think of myself as a failure! So again thank you for make me realize how silly I’ve been.
Carla
This is a GREAT post!!! Thank you!